Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Rip Torn: Jim Brody
Photos
Quotes
-
Julie Brody : Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
Gord Brody : Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Jim : Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord Brody : It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
Gord Brody : I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
Jim : No, you're not!
Gord Brody : This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Jim : He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody : Jim, no!
Jim : You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room]
-
Jim : Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temperature down, breaks into the bathroom, flushes the toilet]
Jim : Don't tell me this boy's so stupid that he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with Soap-on-a-Rope in scuba gear]
Jim : Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
Gord : Look, I found a treasure.
Jim : That's a Soap-on-a-Rope.
Gord : Shhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
-
Jim : Ohhh, look, honey, our boy's a genius! He's rigged a pulley system so he can eat sausage and work on his stupid drawings.
-
Jim : [after he leaves Gord in the shower] You retard!
-
Gord Brody : This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, Little Timmy?
Jim : What the fuck is going on, Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?
Gord Brody : What are you talking about, Timmy?
Jim : Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallivantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
-
Jim : Miserable deadbeat punk. Paid for his damn college. Sits around all day wacking off. Proud? My ASS.
-
Jim : You BETTER run. You LIIIIIAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.
-
Gord Brody : Wow... it's a LeBaron.
Jim : Bet your boots it's a LeBaron. Good car. Convertible.
-
Jim : Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Gord Brody : Dad...
Betty : What?
Gord Brody : Dad...
Betty : You got a problem with my legs?
Jim : No, you got a problem with your legs. It's either that, or you're just lazy.
-
Darren : [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up.
Gord : You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Darren : Well, yeah.
[Uses the nail gun, making even louder noise. Jim wakes up]
Jim : Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep!
[Gord continues to use the nail gun]
Jim : Goddammit!
[shouts]
Jim : Stop the fucking hammering!
Mr. Malloy : Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here!
Andy Malloy : Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord : Sure. Andy! Anytime!
Jim : [shouts at the top of his lungs, goes back into the house]
Darren : Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?
-
Jim : [to Betty] If this was Pakistan, you'd be sewing soccer balls.
-
Gord : Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy Brody : Is that um...
Jim : That's your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich, so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?
Freddy Brody : How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right, Pop? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
-
Gord Brody : Fuck you, Dad.
Jim : Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[drops his pants]
Jim : Well, go ahead, FUCK ME!
-
Jim : [screaming at the top of his lungs after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of the night] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tomorrow! Get the hell of my property!
[throws the skateboard at Darren's broken leg]
Gord Brody : Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg!
Jim : Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg]
Jim : Jesus Christ.
[to Gord]
Jim : Well, get him a job! I mean, get HIM an ambulance, YOU get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord]
Jim : Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?
-
Jim : He said 'Fuck you, Dad'. So I said 'Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me"... and I NEVER FINGERED FREDDY.
[Andy Malloy looks at Jim while playing catch and gets hit in mouth with baseball, cries]
-
Jim : Get out of the toilet!
-
Jim : Where the fuck is the water?
-
Jim : What are you looking at... bitch?
