American Pie 2 (2001)
Jason Biggs: Jim Levenstein
Photos
Quotes
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Jim's Dad : Musilage is dangerous territory, and uhh, I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the tube.
Jim : I thought it was a, uhh, a lubricant. Ok, I was trying to use lubricant.
Jim's Dad : Oh... oh...
Wheelchair Lady : [looking at the Pussy Palace magazine] Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home?
Jim's Dad : Excuse me?
Wheelchair Lady : Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.
Jim's Dad : Ohh, well we're sorry, but uh, but you see my son *couldn't* leave it at home because uhh, he's having a bit of a medical emergency?
Jim : That's right. Thanks Dad.
Jim's Dad : Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is not a priority lady. Okay? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you don't have a penis. Or maybe you do?
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Jim : That's a lot of flutes.
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Jim : Nadia, please don't take this the wrong way - You are everything I... used to want in a woman, and as much as I'm really... really going to regret this, I think I need to be with someone else.
Nadia : You... you want the band geek?
Jim : Nadia, I *am* a band geek. I just never joined the band.
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Jim : Was I any good that night?
Michelle : Jeez how could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?
Jim : I'm sorry, "terrible?"
Michelle : I've had worse.
Jim : Oh.
Michelle : Oh, sorry. I just... ah... I could give you some pointers. If you want.
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Trumpet Kid : You suck, retard.
Jim : I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy.
[Jim rams the kid in the face with his trombone]
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Jim : This is my first time, since my first time.
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Stifler : [Stiffler and Jim have just kissed passionately, trying to get the girls to do each other] Dude, you're a fuckin' lousy kisser.
Jim : What? That's not fair! I wasn't trying there.
[to the girls]
Jim : I'm really bett...
Danielle : No judgment.
Jim : Wait a second, you were trying?
Stifler : Fuck, no!
Jim : You were trying!
Stifler : You were trying! Oh no I kissed Jim!
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Jim : I kind of super-glued myself to... uh... myself.
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[the two "lesbians" are making the guys give each other hand jobs]
Stifler : It's okay. It's okay. I know what I have to do.
[starts undoing his shorts]
Stifler : I have to keep this party going. I'm taking one for the team.
[Finch and Jim run away]
Finch : I am not touching that!
Jim : Put that thing away Stifler!
Stifler : What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing.
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Jim : What are you doing here?
Stifler's Brother : Pussy man, I'm here for the pussy.
Jim : Take a number.
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Jim : Do you know where I could find Michelle Flaherty?
Trumpet Kid : Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came. And then the bear had to be destroyed. Which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died.
Jim : Yeah, you must know Michelle.
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Jim : You got laid in an art museum?
Finch : The Met. Oh, and the Guggenheim with Francesca.
Jim : The Guggenheim?
Finch : And then my Social Psyche professor in Baskin-Robbins.
Jim : Alright, enough Finch.
Finch : But, I'll tell you none of these women even compares to...
Jim , Oz , Kevin : Stifler's mom!
Finch : Stifler's mom is a goddess.
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Jim : I don't know how I get myself into these things.
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Jim : Ow! That's my nipples! She just loves my nipples.