- Buckskin Bonnie: [while bathing in a river] Your feet's been in the saddle a long time, pardner. C'mon, c'mon in. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
- Stagecoach Driver: Hang on stranger and welcome aboard. We're gonna do a little target practice here to git you started.
- Prospector: Stranger, this is the map to the gold. The Padre has the other half. Watch out for... Mad... Dog!
- [he dies]
- [the chest is opened and there are only bags of sand in it]
- Professor: Dirt! This... This is what I risked my bloody life for?
- Shooting Beaver: Dirt is gold- just part of the earth.
- Padre: I had planned to do so much good with it. I guess I'll never get to see Rome.
- Buckskin Bonnie: How 'bout Paris, Padre. Who took it?
- [They all look at the Stagecoach driver]
- Stagecoach Driver: Well don't look at me, my hands are clean. Mad Dog... or... maybe you should have played a better game.
- Padre: You look honest my friend. Find the treasure, return it to the mission and receive your reward... in heaven.
- Shooting Beaver: I have brought you to the place of the treasure. It is bad medicine for me to go further. May your days be good.
- Buckskin Bonnie: I got a short fuse too, stranger!
- [she throws dynamite into the store. It explodes, and then a stunned man walks out]
- Stunned man: Got a light?
- Stagecoach Driver: We made it, Padre! If my pardner back there is as honest as he can shoot straight, you're in the money.
- Padre: Oh my, oh my! It's a cauldron of the devil's own making in that town. Mad Dog has taken over. Good luck!
- Shooting Beaver: Quickest way to treasure through Indian land. Very dangerous for stranger. Very dangerous.
- Gunman: Hey hombre! Let's see how fast you are!
- Gunman: Go ahead stranger; make my day!
- Stagecoach Driver: I've been keepin' tabs on you, stranger. You done pretty good, but it ain't over yet. I'm gettin' out of here.
- Stagecoach Driver: That's gotta be the last of Mad Dog's men. And we've still got the treasure.
- [suddenly we hear gunfire, he looks outside the train]
- Stagecoach Driver: They stick like rotten glue. Let's get 'em!
- Stagecoach Driver: That's straight shootin', pardner. Now for the big one. The treasure's right in front of you. Take a look and shoot yer luck.
- Stagecoach Driver: Stranger, you best get out of town. Mad Dog knows you got the map.
- Professor: Go my friend, you have the map and I bloody well have the way. A little traveling music, Sam!
- Buckskin Bonnie: We're gettin' close to the big X pardner. You and me, we could go a long way with that gold.
- Professor: Gentleman, my elixir will cure you of alcoholism, lost manhood, and the common cold.
- Gunman: Professor, you're a cheat and a swindler!
- [pulls gun on him]
- [the chest is open and there is gold inside]
- Professor: I'm rich!
- Stagecoach Driver: Yahoo!
- Padre: I can go to Rome.
- Buckskin Bonnie: Paree!
- Stagecoach Driver: Stranger. Stranger you think you're tough enough to take on Mad Dog? Prove it to me. That man is the scourge of the territory. Why to beat Mad Dog to the spanish treasure you'll have to take on renegade indians. Bandidos senor and mad dog's sleazy crew. You think you can beat that crazy killer to the spanish treasure? Why he's ready to dynamite the whole of superstition mountain to get at that gold. He's well armed stranger, bear that in mind.
- Stagecoach Driver: It ain't gonna be easy. You'll need a guide to get you to the treasure. Pick anyone. Buckskin Bonnie: well, she can get you into trouble stranger, but she can lead you through the badlands. The professor: he's something of a gambling quack. His way's not always the straight way, but he's got an ace or two up his sleeve. He'll get you to the treasure. Shooting Beaver: now that Indian knows a shortcut through renegade country. You save his neck, he'll save yours.