- Kevin Gibbons: C'mon, Lucille, don't die on me now. Listen, daddy knows you're tired, but daddy knows that got a few left in you. Yes you do! Yes you do!
- Kevin Gibbons: Two questions... what is your name, and can I please have your phone number?
- Abby: Abby... and I thought you'd never ask.
- [singing to the tune of Poison's "Every Rose Has It's Thorn"]
- Rod: Kevin sits silently still in the dead of the day, wondering if he finds that girl that just walked away. Was it something he said, or something he did? Did the words not come out right? He didn't try to get the digits, he didn't try, but I guess that's they say why they say, Kevin crapped out on his own, but his friends would have helped him all along.
- [speaking]
- Rod: That poor bonehead.
- Abby: I can't get next to you.
- Kevin Gibbons: Excuse me?
- Abby: "I'm So Tired of Being Alone" is a great Al Green song, but "I Can't Get Next To You" sounds a little more appropriate.
- Kevin Gibbons: Why?
- Abby: Because... I can't get next to you!