What a Girl Wants (2003)

Christina Cole: Clarissa Payne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clarissa : Oh, very you, lovely. So Henry asked us to give you a few pointers, didn't he? Well, pointer number 1: go home. Mother and I belong here and it's quite clear you just don't fit in. And pointer number 2: while you're packing, keep your grimy little Yankee paws off Armistead Stuart, he's mine.

  Daphne Reynolds : If you take your nose out of the air for one second you'll see you're designer, I'm vintage. You've got a mansion, I've got a five floor walkup. You're a snotty little miss cranky pants and I go with the flow, so why would you ever think for one second that I'd ever have the same taste in guys? So here's a little pointer for you. Get over yourself and stop trying to be my daddy's little girl because I'm not going anywhere.

• Glynnis Payne : [Takes a bite of her eggs]  These eggs are positively glacial. When I run this house, senile servants will be the first thing to go.

  Clarissa : You'd have to get around the old bat somehow. She'd never allow it.

  Jocelyn Dashwood : [Enters the room]  Anyone seen my pruning shears? The *old bat* seems to have forgotten where she put them.

• Glynnis Payne : Oh, put a cork in it, Clarissa.

  Clarissa : Maybe someone should've put a cork in it seventeen years ago.

• Glynnis Payne : Until then we have to keep up appearances. Look what happened to Olivia Nixon when she went to China last summer.

  Clarissa : Who's Olivia Nixon?

  Glynnis Payne : Exactly.

• Clarissa : I can't believe that little impostor is going to ruin my summer!

  Fiona : She may be a lot of things, but I can't believe impostor is one of them. Technically, she's 39th in line to the throne.

  Clarissa : Really, Fiona. 38 people would have to die for her to be queen.

  Jane : Well, it's far less than the 72 you'd need.

  Clarissa : Hmph!

• Clarissa : I will, absolutely,

  [hangs up phone] 

  Clarissa : not.

• Clarissa : That girl is totally barbaric!

• Clarissa : Seems you had a better time in Morocco than you let on.

• Clarissa : [after Daphne walks out in the fashion show]  Holy poo on toast.

• Clarissa : [Sees Daphne fall over the wall]  Did you see that?

  Glynnis Payne : What?

  Clarissa : An impossibly large bird falling off that wall.

  Glynnis Payne : Are you hallucinating?

  [Waves her hand in front of her face] 

• Clarissa : You'd think they'd choose debs who actually had ankles. Those look like baked hams.