The One and Only (2002) Poster

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5/10
Strong Cast, Weak Script
bob_bear12 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
First off, I had no problem with the Geordie accents in this film. I had no idea that the leads were Australian and South African by birth. I bought the accents, no problem. And I come from the North, so I should think I have an idea.

I thought the cast were great. Especially Patsy Kensit, who turned in the best "acting" performance that I've ever seen her do.

Nope. No problems with the cast. It was the script that was dire. Full of holes. Ridiculous scenarios like leaving the adopted child in the care of a recently widowed Roxburgh or the multitude of doctors and nurses around the hospital bed. Racing to the hospital/train station was just corny and predictable.

I know it was meant to be a black comedy but the way it trivialized such plot strands as death and abortion was nothing short of lame.

Just another one of those British films that tries but fails, I'm afraid
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6/10
'What sort of man builds kitchens on compassionate leave?'
neil_mc13 December 2005
This film was given the slot following Film 2005 on the BBC last night, a slot which is usually reserved for the more decent efforts. And with my mind still on the excellent King Kong preview in that programme - it looks amazing and opens this Thursday - 'The One and Only' managed to divert my attention away from that.

It is a very effective film in it's own way, the jokes, wisecracks and one-liners come thick and fast once everything gets going and I must admit some of the stuff is pretty good. Apart from Richard Roxburgh's Geordie accent slipping into Welsh on occasion and Justine Waddell trying too hard at times for her character to be a bit wacky, everything plays out in a gentle, irreverent manner until an overly soppy ending which I wasn't a huge fan of.

There was also reference to Newcastle United's poor transfer policy and tendency to pay over the odds for anything that moves, with "7 million pounds worth of groin strain", 'King of the treatment room' Italian Andrea Buffeloni who's played only 34 minutes since his transfer. Which is currently very relevant considering Albert Luque's pricey transfer in the summer and his subsequent lack of games.

All in all, a surprisingly good film which is very funny in parts. 6/10
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7/10
An excellent and earthy cameo of real life's up and downs.
edgrant2213 December 2005
A lovely and lively time in the lives of a number of characters centred around a great performance from Justine as the wronged Stevie who finds her soul mate at an unexpected time and place. Good humour running through what is a serious issue of finding happiness in life. Well supported throughout and well filmed in the up and coming northern England area. Neil fits kitchens and is one of the most sensitive and understanding guys you are ever likely to meet. He deserves the best and eventually gets it, but its not all plain sailing and lots of bridges have to be crossed before it all works out. The drama hospital scene gets to a pitch in which you hope it works out but doesn't look like its going to. Do yourself a favour.. watch it. It will cheer you up
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6/10
Weak but sweet and innocent little romantic comedy.
Boba_Fett113824 February 2007
Really not the best genre movie around but an enjoyable and good enough on to watch.

The real problem of the movie is its simplicity and its emotionless distant approach of it all. The movie really isn't the best or most clever written movies but it nevertheless is a well made one, with some good directing, acting and overall backdrop and atmosphere.

The movie is hanging together from its coincidences. The movie too heavily relies on coincidences, which really doesn't make the most believable movie around. It's a style that works so well in other British movies, just not in this one.

This movie is somewhere in the middle of everything. It has too many comedy to be a drama and too much drama to really be a comedy. It makes the movie an unbalanced one, as you can never be to sure with what approach to watch this movie. Because of this nothing in the movie ever really works out as good as it was supposed to.

The movie also doesn't really work out as a romantic movie, since the love between the two main characters just isn't notably present enough. Not necessarily the actors fault but more because of the approach of the movie. Their relationship is more believable- and would had worked better as a friendship between two people who went through a hard time and supported each other in it. But it wouldn't had been a romantic-comedy then, now would it.

At least the actors still did their very best. Richard Roxburgh once more shows his versatility as an actor. Michael Hodgson is also good as the more comical relief of the movie. Jonathan Cake on the other hand isn't the greatest. His character is way too stereotypical and totally unoriginal to find it funny.

Nevertheless it's an harmless movie to watch. It's a movie that does not bore and is an easy one on the eye and mind.

6/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/
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3/10
Produced By Sycophants - Not Producers
Theo Robertson12 December 2005
As a child in the 1970s I always used to look forward to Christmas television because it was the one time of the year that TV companies were guaranteed to put on decent films . The same is still true today I guess although due to video recorders , DVDs and satellite television when a blockbuster is shown on network for the very first time the potential audience sitting at home pulling Christmas crackers has almost certainly seen the film in question . What this also means is that in the run up to Christmas television companies hold back on showing decent movies , instead they cram the schedules with crap . Crap like THE ONE AND ONLY

I'd be very surprised is anyone was expecting to see a good film if they were looking at the cast list . A British film that has the likes of Patsy Kensit best known for her stint on BO SELECTA and Donna Air better known for her inane ramblings on MTV SELECT should ring a few warning bells and these instinctive feelings of approaching mediocrity are well founded

The story revolves around Stevie falling in love with Neil . No it's not a gay love story - And being a British movie any perceived homophobia will result in the loss of your film career and potential criminal proceedings - and that's part of the running gag of having a couple where the female has an easily mistaken male name . YAWN . It also sums up the whole feeling of the movie of very weak gags that confuse the audience into thinking how the hell did this pass script development . Who are the producers ? Are they actual producers or are they dear friends of the screenwriters who sycophantically agreed that the script was amusing ? I know what one I'm putting my money on and I can just imagine the producers slapping their thighs laughing at the ridiculously unfunny sex scenes that have to be seen to believed

I will say one good thing about THE ONE AND ONLY and that is that you won't have to drink too much Christmas sherry in order to forget about it . By tomorrow morning when I go Christmas shopping I will have no problem in not remembering this waste of celluloid
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1/10
Not funny enough to be a comedy, not dramatic enough to be a drama.
elainecoe7 January 2006
I hate to put down British films, but I can honestly say that this was the worst film I have ever seen, so much so that I had to watch it to the end just out of disbelief.

I agree that the script was poor, and possibly the acting wasn't great, but it was really the plot I found unconvincing. I'm not easily upset, but I was genuinely offended by certain issue - the way death was treated and the scene at the hospital particularly.

The cast had potential and the accents, acting, everything could be forgiven if the plot was more plausible. I believe in love at first sight, but I didn't believe that these two characters could have fallen in love after their brief encounter over the kitchen counters. They discovered the unsatisfactory nature of each other's relationships, but nothing about each other.

Such a shame.
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9/10
sweet romantic comedy with great leads
sandybeedee27 July 2005
I've just seen this movie on DVD. Its sweet and surprisingly funny. And has two great performances from Richard Roxburgh and Justine Waddell. The best scenes in the film are when they're together. You really want them to have their happy ending. The direction is erratic, and the writing's weak, but they're charming so it doesn't matter. There's also a funny performance by Michael Hodgson. Newcastle looks good, and the movie has a fun soundtrack. I wish there were cast interviews and more behind the scenes footage on the DVD. It kind of looks like it was done on the cheap. But the movie itself is sweet and funny. A good way to spend a Sunday evening.
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5/10
Sound/Speech & lots of griping about everything else.
Sean_og21 February 2007
Is it me or is the speech in this film dubbed in? Also; the soundtrack just kicks in occasionally and randomly. What's that all about?

Acting's great! (in places.)

Plot's awful.

Everyone lives next to the Tyne in Cuurtainless apartments with HUGE windows. Even the kitchen fitter & the asda sex maniac. Why no long lingering shots of Sunnyside in the p****** down rain?

Also. If a Geordie walked into an apartment and the lady of the house said "Ay pet, my husband plays for Newcastle and I'm oop the duff; look this true blue says so."

He wouldn't just go "ai, is that right pet?" He'd have ripped the pregnancy testing kit out of her hand and framed it (or sold it on ebay)

And why is Newcastle empty for most of this movie?

And why isn't the child more involved in the plot? She just flits in and out!

I watched this and felt let down. I can't wait to see the original.

Sean
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10/10
Really funny film.
juliettef2325 February 2003
Really funny film, with some beautiful locations and wonderful acting. The actor who plays Stan is fantastic and I couldn't wait for him to reappear. Very stylish and beautifully filmed. Light and easy entertainment, that made me laugh a lot.
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10/10
Great fun
eroden_851 August 2004
I loved this film! It was funny and it had a great story. I love Richard Roxburgh! He is a brilliant and talented actor. I don't see anything wrong with this film - its a bit of fun - dont listen to everything that critics say. I gave it a ten and i'm going to purchase the dvd for my collection. :o)
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10/10
A real pity this film didn't get the credits it deserved
info-47556 June 2005
This is one of the nicest and funniest movies I have seen recently, and is one of those titles you want to see more than a one and only time. It was tucked away on the bottom shelf of a Belgium videotheque; it never reached the cinemas in Belgium, nor in the Netherlands. Hence it didn't get any attention to a broader audience; what a shame! For starters the plot is as simple as it is good and the story build around sticks to it and is credible. The film breathes a certain low budget atmosphere and there is hardly any outstanding camera work, though it delivers quite some great stills. Comparisons are made with Notting Hill. Regarding that I would say the Notting Hill film has better photography with great color but has the rather slik Hollywood like fairy tale setting, where as The One And Only is definitely much funnier, not only in dialogue, has the better soundtrack and stands, again not only regarding the more prosaic dialogue, closer to reality. As a foreigner I wasn't bothered by perhaps not so good northern accents; they sounded perfectly genuine to me. And what a heavenly lass miss Waddel is!
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10/10
Don't believe everything you read!
maclellana2 March 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Film critics are a funny breed. They have the power to influence what you see, what you eat, where you go, what you do; and often based on very subjective, biased views without any real thought or research. I came very close to not seeing this film due to the appalling press it received. Indeed, after 2 weeks of trawling around the net I was struggling to find one good review of the film. All I can say is I'm glad I gave it the benefit of the doubt...

Don't get me wrong - there's no Oscar winning performances in this film. Some of the accents are a little shoddy and some hilarious moments could have been pulled off much better. Having said all that, this is the first film in a long time where literally the entire cinema (which was sold out) were in fits of uncontrollable laughter throughout. The film isn't *that* bad. Don't believe everything you read (including this!) - check it out for yourself... you may be pleasantly surprised. So, a little different I know, what I'd like to do is feedback on some on the critics comments so that you can form your own, lets say, 'more unbiased' opinion of this.

Firstly, starting with 'Neil Smith' who's reviews have cropped up for none other than the BBC. He quotes, "Newcastle is the setting for this feeble British romantic comedy, starring Patsy Kensit and Donna Air.". For starters, the film does not 'star' Patsy Kensit OR Donna Air. Patsy Kensit plays a relatively minor role in the scheme of things and Donna Air merely makes a cameo appearance (in all of two scenes) as a beautician and barely says more than two sentences. Admittedly, Patsy Kensit's acting wasn't amazing but I wouldn't say Donna's acting was good or bad based on how much you actually see of her in the film.

Neil goes on to say, "...some of the worst accents ever heard in a British picture". Well, I've lived in Newcastle for 28 years and would say I'm quite a good authority on what makes an acceptable 'Geordie' accent. The accents from Richard Roxborough (who played Neil, the kitchen fitter) and Justine Waddell (who played Stevie) were quite plausible. They may not fit into the stereotyped bracket of Geordie accents that some people, who probably haven't been within 200 miles of Newcastle, would like to impose as the norm; but they were quite believable as accents belonging to someone from the area. Believe it or not, there's more than one flavour of Geordie accent - when you've lived here for long enough you can quite easily identify the area of the North East a person comes from just by their accent, as you can anywhere in the world. It's very narrow-minded to think that all Geordie accents are the same.

Mr Smith (and various other 'reviewers') have slated Jonathan Cake's performance, "... a ghastly parody of an Italian footballer...", "...an accent that even Paolo di Canio would have trouble deciphering...". Well, it's pretty damn obvious that Cake is playing a SPOOF role as Italian footballer, 'Andrea / Sonny' in the film. I mean, surely no one in their right mind is of the opinion that all Italians go 'round saying 'Mamma Mia' and constantly misinterpreting common English sayings? Are they???

References have been made by several reviewers, such as 'Cristín Leach' that "...the film plays at times like it was commissioned by the Northern England tourist board.", as if the film is making more of the region than is really there. Well, again these are ignorant fallacies based on the subjective opinion of someone who almost certainly hasn't been to the area, probably envious that the North East have managed to do so much with an area previously stricken be mass unemployment and general neglect. Although Newcastle and the surrounding area looked fantastic in the film, I wouldn't say it distracted from the script or overplayed the location any more than other films. If anything, I think it may have been undersold slightly - barely touching on the beautiful coastlines, Northumberland countryside and Newcastle's famous nightlife. The film casually showed the area how it is (or was, in 2001 when it was filmed - the Quayside is rapidly evolving!) - if you live in Newcastle you *do* regularly see the Tyne Bridge, Millennium Bridge and the Angel of the North! The cinematography of the opening credits, going over the Tyne Bridge, was superb.

Other derogatory remarks have been made about this film which aren't really worth commenting on. To be fair to the 'critics' I would say some of the performances are a bit wooden. At times Roxborough and Waddell seem to be concentrating more on conveying believable Geordie accents than actually letting the script flow. Patsy Kensit was poorly cast and at times sounded more Welsh than Geordie, but she only played a supporting role and her cringefully poor acting only came out in 2 or 3 scenes. Michael Hodgson's role as Kensit's er... 'partner' was very amusing and deserved equally as much recognition.

SPOILER: Angel Thomas plays the virtually silent 6 year old 'Mgala' in the film and makes her first utterance of 'Oh f**k' in the final scene. Although it was quite funny, I feel better timing, phrasing, lack of Patsy Kensit's ridiculous over-acting when she was crying, or SOMETHING could have made this final utterance much, much funnier. The audience were in fits of uncontrolled laughter throughout the film, but it seemed to end on a brief 'chuckle'.

To summarise, as chick-flicks go this was quite enjoyable. It wasn't stupidly romantic and, as mentioned, kept the whole cinema in regular fits of laughter. Just don't let the 'critics' influence your opinion of it too much!
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10/10
Hilarious, one of the best modern British comedies
robert-temple-126 March 2014
This wonderful comedy is funnier than any Monty Python film and is such a sensationally successful British comedy that I marvel that it is not spoken of by everyone as a classic of its kind. I only came upon it because I was curious to see something else featuring Justine Waddell, who was so brilliant in WIVES AND DAUGHTERS (1999, see my review). I thus discovered this DVD for sale, I had never heard of the film, and I thought I'd try it. What a surprise! Waddell, who is such a fine dramatic actress, turns out to be a first class and inspired comedienne as well. The film is brilliantly directed, with just the right touch, by Simon Cellan Jones (son of Jim and Maggie). Another pricelessly funny star of the show is a little African girl named Angel Thomas, who is the bemused observer to more crazy goings-on than most children could even dream of. Jonathan Cake is outrageously funny as a spoilt brat Italian football star with an ego bigger than ten playing fields and a perfectly-honed wounded sense of self-pity. The film is made entirely in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in the north of England, hardly familiar territory for the film industry. I must say, the director chose every angle and every location which could possibly make Newcastle look good, and the town comes out of it all sleek and shining. (I would never have imagined it possible.) A 'positive image of Tyneside' was certainly successfully achieved. However, this magnificent film has been so badly distributed that no one seems to know it was ever made. Looking at IMDb, I see that this film is an English language remake of a Danish film called DEN ENESTE ENE (1999), which was directed by Suzanne Bier, a very well known Danish director. The Danish original seems to be available on DVD only with Norwegian subtitles, good if you are a Norwegian, but if not, not. The English film with Justine Waddell beats Woody Allen at his own game. It is really that good. Why did nobody get behind this film and promote it properly? However, the film is definitely a danger to your heath, since if you watch it, there is a serious danger that you might die laughing.
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8/10
Great (unknown) movie!
travellingmick13 December 2005
I saw this film on TV and must confess to having never heard of it before - but i cannot think why! Why wasn't this great little movie given more chance in the box office? Why wasn't it widely distributed???? It was genuinely very very funny. Not only did i find myself laughing out loud the whole way through it, but it also had great dialogue, a great story, excellent characters and a fantastic plot. All in all this was a very enjoyable and quite unexpected movie. If you get a chance - watch it! The plot surrounds two couples - one are everyday and unhappy in their relationship. The other are an Italian football star and his kept wife. Couple one adopt an African girl and couple two are trying to have a baby. But then Guy from first couple falls in love with kept wife. A great little side story involves the first guys friend who is an absolute slob who has crazy sex with some woman he happens to meet in late night supermarkets who also happens to be the sister of the footballers wife. There is far far more to it than all this thought! It is a fantastic story and a great comedy. I have to ask again...why didn't this get distributed better in the cinemas???? The distribution/production company were not doing their job!
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8/10
Best since No Surrender
beau geste 3813 December 2005
I caught this on late night TV, and missed the beginning. After a few minutes I was sat up in bed. This had caught my attention. At the time I thought it was a TV production, similar to Cold Feet (one of my favourite series). Not as much 'warmth' as Cold Feet, but this was funny, sad, tragic, etc. All the ingredients needed for a black comedy. Comedy appeals to a wide spectrum, and this won't please everyone. But to me it is one of the funniest 'black comedies' since No Surrender (1985). I'm from the North East, and found the accents quite believable. In fact, I thought that the main actors were Geordies. Never heard of either of them, but I'll be looking out for them, especially Justine Waddell, who was a bit of a dish. I shall go out and buy the Video or DVD, and give a copy to those friends of mine, who are on a similar comedy wavelength to myself.

Jimmy Nail's Spender had already shown that the North East had some great locations, so I wasn't surprised at some of the great outdoor shots in this film. I have a feeling that there will be more to come from this area, and from Justine Waddell.
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9/10
Like a really good kitchen - but funnier
nb-6622 February 2007
A really funny film with great performances all round. Was on TV last night and went on to after 1am - We couldn't turn it off, and I never stay awake that late generally!

Justine Waddell I had never heard of before but I couldn't take my eyes off her, and my wife is now in love with Richard Roxburgh! Jonathan Cake was perfect as the caricature of an Italian footballer and even Patsy Kensit didn't annoy me for once. Michael Hodgson as Stan the unlikely stud was hilarious.

The unlikely plot did not matter one jot as those great performances and the incredibly witty dialogue made it so easy to suspend disbelief. Newcastle looked great, too.
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10/10
Excellent
graestella15 December 2005
I'm astonished at the lack of reviews for this delightful film. Also surprised that several recent ones were from the recent TV showing. This shows how poor the films distribution was, and is typical and lamentable for British film. This was a gem of a picture. My wife and I were laughing ourselves fit to burst. The romance was a treat and lightly handled. Roxburgh's Geordie accent was spot on. Who are these alleged critics who have nothing better to do than attack actors for trying to act. Should they all be like the cast of Eastenders and disclaim their lines in their natural voice ? I also think that Jonathan Cake is a great undiscovered comic talent, and was as brilliant as ever. One day he will get his breakthrough role and then we will be treated to his back catalogue of characterisations in forgotten classics like this one.
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The original is better
fantamus241 January 2021
Funny movie. I loved the Danish original and it's still my favourite. Story is the same though and still really good
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