Haggard (2003 Video)
Brandon DiCamillo: Falcone, Taxi Driver, Announcer at Appliance Contest, Gnar Kill Band Member
Photos
Quotes
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Falcone : I will tell you everything, I'll let you know. You'll be so much smarter. Girls are like... a lake, you know? Like, you can jump right in, get in there, and then you're all used to it and everything's great. But come winter time
[snaps fingers]
Falcone : that shit's fuckin' frozen. Then you're fucked. That's why I know the difference: I always pull out of it.
Valo : What are you talking about? This food is making you crazy.
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Valo : Let me guess: some sort of experiment?
Falcone : Spearmint? I'd rather Wintergreen. What are you talkin' about?
Valo : The TV. It's sideways.
Falcone : Why wouldn't it be sideways? I have to watch it with my neck straight, so I'm comfortable. Otherwise I'd have a taco neck, ya know?
Valo : Did you take acid?
Falcone : ...yea.
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Falcone : I like chocolate, I like fudge, I'll make some now or I won't budge.
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Falcone : Don Vito is a whore about his grapes.
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Falcone : Anyway, I'm making this invention and, uh, I need like freeon from old fridgerators so keep an eye out. It's this uh, reverse microwave I'm making. Oh man, it makes things cool real fast.
Raab : So... you're making some invention that could make stuff cold like, rally fast?
Falcone : That's what I just said...
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Falcone : These... are girlfriend's... underwears.
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[while filming a home movie using a model train set and action figures]
Falcone : What are you guys doing, humping on the caboose?
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Falcone : Later on do you wanna go to to the bakery? I can almost taste it with my nose. Ever feel that way?