Roger Dodger (2002)

Jesse Eisenberg: Nick

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roger : You can't sell a product without first making people feel bad.

  Nick : Why not?

  Roger : Because it's a substitution game. You have to remind them that they're missing something from their lives. Everyone's missing something, right?

  Nick : I guess.

  Roger : Trust me. And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete, you convince them your product is the only thing that can fill the void. So instead of taking steps to deal with their lives, instead of working to root out the real reason for their misery, they go out and buy a stupid looking pair of cargo pants.

• Roger : Why give into a slump? Let's go down swinging.

  Nick : Yes. Like Michael Jordan.

  Roger : Right. That's the wrong sport, but I like your enthusiasm.

• Nick : I'll see you at the next funeral.

  Roger : Why? Who's sick?

  Nick : [lost]  What? I'm kidding.

  Roger : Me too.

• Roger : Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question: Who's the greatest basketball player in the history of the game?

  Nick : Um. Well, do you mean ever?

  Roger : Oh, come on. This is easy!

  Nick : Michael Jordan?

  Roger : Michael Jordan. And why was he the greatest? Because he paced himself. Because he always had something left at the finish. Magic Johnson called it "winning time."

• Nick : Maybe she was afraid to see you in person, I mean after what happened at the funeral.

  Roger : Listen, that happened because your grandfather is a king-sized prick? All right?