A Garfield Christmas Special (1987 TV Short)

Lorenzo Music: Garfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• Garfield : All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here, will you? I have something to say. Christmas: it's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it. Now get outta here.

• Garfield : [after he falls down the Christmas tree, almost putting the star on top]  Whoever invented Christmas trees should be drug out into the street and shot.

  [an ornament bonks his nose] 

• Jon Arbuckle : I remember when my brother Doc Boy and I were little...

  Garfield : Oh, brother, here we go again.

  Jon Arbuckle : [singing]  Dad would chop down the tree.

  Garfield : Chores.

  Jon Arbuckle : Mom would fix up a meal.

  Garfield : Work.

  Jon Arbuckle : Doc Boy would get in the way.

  Garfield : Fighting. Big fat hairy deal.

  [Odie barks] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Decorating the tree.

  Garfield : Gardening.

  Jon Arbuckle : Wiring all of the lights.

  Garfield : Electrical contracting.

  Jon Arbuckle : Wrapping boxes and writing out cards.

  Garfield : Office work. Out of sight.

  [Odie barks] 

• Grandma : Of course, to make it through this whole life, you have to be a little crazy.

  Garfield : You said it, Grandma.

  Grandma : Why, just look at me - I talk to cats!

  [laughs] 

• Grandma : Why, hello, Garfield. How did you know I needed a kitty in my lap?

  Garfield : Wild guess.

  Grandma : Since Grandpa passed on, I've wiled away many a lonely hour rocking and stroking my cats.

  Garfield : I envy those cats.

• Jon Arbuckle : Hey Garfield, come over here.

  [Garfield turns around] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, I have a very important job for you. It's a dangerous assignment, but if you succeed, you'll be a hero.

  Garfield : A hero! I like that.

  Jon Arbuckle : I want you to take this star up the tree and put it on the top.

  Garfield : [saluting Jon and accepting the star]  Climbing trees is my life, sir. If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me.

• Jon Arbuckle : We're almost back on the farm now, boys. I can almost smell Mom's chestnut dressing baking in the oven right now.

  Garfield : [sniffs]  That's not what I smell.

• Jon Arbuckle : Grandma, you remember Garfield, don't you?

  Grandma : Well, I'll be. I remember back when all we had were wood-burning cats. Ah, what'll they think of next?

  Garfield : Bizarre.

• Mom : [beaming]  Isn't this wonderful? The whole family together again for the holidays. We're going to have such a splendid Christmas. Oh, I'm so happy I could just burst!

  Grandma : Oh, put a sock in it, dearie.

  [carrying Garfield to the kitchen] 

  Grandma : Let's go finish dinner.

  Garfield : I can see Grandma and I going to get along just fine.

• Jon Arbuckle : Hey, Garfield, guess what today is?

  Garfield : Listen carefully, Jon: I don't do pop quizzes before breakfast, okay?

• Jon Arbuckle : Are you ready for this, Garfield? It's Christmas Eve morning! We're gonna pack up our presents and go to the farm for Christmas! Won't that be fun?

  Garfield : You've got a real sick sense of humor, Jon. You know that, don't you?

  Jon Arbuckle : The whole family's gonna be there: Dad, Mom, and Grandma, and Doc Boy...

  Garfield : And Good Boy, Bad Boy, Oh Boy, Attaboy...

  Jon Arbuckle : Come on, Garfield, we have a busy day ahead of us!

  [leaves] 

  Garfield : [to himself]  Why is it every Christmas I get drug out of my warm bed just to see some stupid old relatives? And why is it we always have to go to that stupid ol' farm? Why can't they come here where my warm bed is? And why - am I whispering?

• Garfield : [after he tries out his new back scratcher that Odie gave him]  Odie, sometimes you amaze me. This is the best present a cat could ever get. Now and then, you're something special.

  [they embrace] 

• Jon Arbuckle : [as he, Garfield, and Odie pull up to the farm house]  Now, behave yourself this Christmas, Garfield.

  Garfield : No problem; I'll wait in the car.

• Jon Arbuckle : Hey Garfield, there's plenty of leftovers.

  [presenting Garfield with a plate of leftovers] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Would you like something to eat?

  Garfield : Oh, no thank you, Jon.

  [patting his now-full stomach] 

  Garfield : I've opted to watch my waist line this holiday season.

• Garfield : [before he climbs the Christmas tree to try to put the star on top]  This is gonna be a piece of cake. Never send a man to do a cat's job.

• Garfield : Hello, what's this? Why it's sausage gravy!

  [Garfield licks some gravy off his paw. His face turns red from the chili powder that Grandma had put in the gravy earlier. Garfield's ears smoke and he spits out fire] 

  Garfield : Perfect!

• Jon Arbuckle : [singing]  Then we'd take those presents / And pile them under the tree / We'd barely get a wink of sleep / Wondering what they could be.

  Garfield : [singing]  The special gifts of Christmas.

  Jon Arbuckle : Christmas.

  Garfield : That really make it great.

  Jon Arbuckle : It's so great.

  Garfield : Are the insomnia and the anxiety... Kids get from having to wait.

  Jon Arbuckle : Can't wait 'til Christmas / There's so much to do / Can't wait 'til Christmas...

  Garfield : Wake me when it's through.

• Garfield : [about Jon's parents' Christmas Eve dinner]  Mmmm. Attentive service. Excellent cuisine. However the decor leaves something to be desired. I give this place - two stars.

• Garfield : [after some letters bonk his head]  I don't believe it. These letters must be - 50 years old.

• Jon Arbuckle : There's no doubt about it, Christmas is my favorite holiday. The air's crisp, homes are brightly decorated, and everybody's walking around with big smiles on their faces.

  [Garfield frowns] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Uh, almost everybody. I think the best part is watching the faces of children and sharing memories of being a child at Christmas. I remember when my brother Doc Boy and I were little.

  Garfield : Oh, brother, here we go again.

• Jon Arbuckle : [as he, Garfield, and Odie go for a walk in the snow]  This is what it's all about, right boys? Hard work, crisp weather, and beautiful scenery!

  Garfield : [his tail sticking out from the snow]  What scenery? I think somebody turned the lights out. In fact, I'd go so far as say things can't get much worse than -

  [crashes into a snow gauge] 

  Garfield : I gotta quit saying that.

• Garfield : [holding up some jewels he received from his gift-giving machine]  That's just for starters. Now this is what Christmas is all about.