Dead Ringers (2002–2007)

Mark Perry: David Blunkett, John Prescott, Gandalf, Saddam Hussein, David Dickinson, Robert Winston, Robin Cook, David Cameron, Bob Geldof, Peter Jones, Tom Paulin, Donald Rumsfeld, Forensic Scientist, Martin Jarvis, Phil Harding, Ken Livingstone, Toby Ziegler, Brian Blessed, Charles Clarke, Graham Norton, Ian McKellen, Kim Woodburn, Peter Mandelson, Rowan Williams, Archie, Arthur Hughes, Diarmuid Gavin, Ellen MacArthur's Narrator, George Galloway, Man in Pub, Richard Briers, Robert Falcon Scott, Sheriff's Man, A Liberal Democrat, Al Gore, Ariel Sharon, BBC's Head of Drama, Benjamin Braddock, Bernard Matthews, Bob, Brother Cadfael, Brother Edward, Bruce Forsyth, Businessman, Choir Conductor, Comedy Soap Policeman, Court Official, Cyril Derwent, Dad, Detective, Dirty Harry's Boss, Doctor, Dr. Diabolical, Dustin Hoffman, EastEnders Head Writer, Eric Jones, Frozen Man, Gunther von Hagens, Hercule Poirot, James Alexandrou, James Bond, James May, Jason Orange, Jeremy, John Hurt, King Edward VIII, Luciano Pavarotti, Magneto, Mark Williams, Mathematician, Max's Father, Monty Don, Mr. Follett, Mr. Men Narrator, Multiple Soap Personality Doctor, National Trust Commando Leader, Newspaper Seller, Noah, Norman Clegg, Olga's Husband, PC McGarry, Palestinian Government Spokesman, Politician, Protester, Queen Elizabeth's Assistant, Reggie Kray, Rocky Balboa, Rod Liddle, Sam Ryan's Boss, Senior Army Officer, Sheppity O'Killbill, Simon Peter, Sir Thomas Bertram, Smallweed, Songs of Praise Producer, The Second Doctor, Theresa May, Todd Fleinstein III Jr., Tom Good, Trevor...

Quotes 

• Frodo : Oh, wise Gandalf, where will my quest take me?

  Gandalf : Young Frodo, you must travel across the Misty Mountains, through the perilous forests of Fangorn, until at last you will set sight on Ithilien.

  Frodo : And when I get there, shall I find the One ring? Shall I bring it back to you?

  Gandalf : No, just get 20 Silk Cut and a box of matches. But don't tell Bilbo, he thinks I've quit.

• [Osama and Saddam are in bed, when Osama looks over at the book that Saddam is writing in] 

  Osama Bin Laden : What you got there, little Sadd?

  Saddam Hussien : It's a fatwa, against Des O'Connor, what I wrote.

  Osama Bin Laden : A fatwa? Against Des O'Connor? Steady on, son, we're supposed to be unpopular in the West!

• BBC Announcer : You're watching BBC four. Quiet, isn't it?

• Andrew Neil : Mr Blunkett, surely policemen carrying stun guns isn't a bit over-opressive?

  David Blunkett : Let me make myself perfectly clear. I am only in this Home Secretary game for the arse-kicking.

• Mark Lawson : Hello, you're watching Newsnight Review, a high-fibre diet in programme form. First tonight, a book by the Danish novelist Piers Van Hoostrung. Tom?

  Tom Paulin : I thought it was an astonishing novel, over 400 pages explore the notion of identity as glimpsed through the idealogical canope's of language itself. For me, it's one of the novels of the year.

  Mark Lawson : Uh, Germaine?

  Germaine Greer : Well, I was totally blown away by the distopian vision of the novel as a sort of trope for our own fragmented lives, and

  Mark Lawson : I'm sorry Germaine, I'll have to stop you there, because I've just heard in my earpeice that our last viewer has finally fallen asleep. Well done everyone.

• Cat Deeley : Good evening, and welcome to 'Fame Academy'

  Patrick Kielty : I'm Patrick Kielty. Look, I'm Irish, I've got spiky hair, so, in theory I should be as lovable and funny as Graham Norton. So much for theories.

  Cat Deeley : And I'm Cat Deeley, top, hot, toffee-coloured totty. Later tonight you'll be seeing tears and disappointment when my agent tells me that CD:UK won't have me back after this carnage finishes.

  Patrick Kielty : Tonight we've got 12 contestants, 3 judges, 2 viewers.