Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)
Jason Priestley: Tony Parker
Photos
Quotes
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Tony Parker : Why do you hate your mother so?
Edith Sussman : I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!
Tony Parker : That's not good enough.
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Tony Parker : [Tony and Edith are now in the pool. Tony hugs Edith tightly] Edie - lovely, smooth, sweet Edie. I want to know everything about you: your favorite color, your favorite movie star... do you think your mother killed your father?
Edith Sussman : Canary yellow, Carole Lynley, and yes, I know she did it but I can't prove a thing... Oh! Tony, I think you just broke my hymen...
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Edith Sussman : [Edith is sitting at the poolside, mourning the passing of her father. Tony Parker shows up] How dare you show your face in this house less than 24 hours after my father's death?
Tony Parker : Sorry you feel that way, Edie. But perhaps... I can be of some comfort to your mother.
Edith Sussman : Well I'm afraid you can't. Mother's out with my brother Lance. He's helping her adjust to her new widowhood.
[Scene briefly changes to show Lance on his motorcycle, Angela on the back, whooping and laughing it up]
Edith Sussman : - What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead, and my mother's gigolo shows up, ready for some hot action?
Tony Parker : I suppose I deserved that. Would you believe, the last thing I wanted to do was betray your father?
Edith Sussman : [Sarcastically] Oh... like REALLY!
Tony Parker : I don't ask your forgiveness... it's almost as if I didn't have a choice. Your mother is a sorceress. She casts a hypnotic spell over a man. You possess that same magic, Edie.
Edith Sussman : I do?
[Tony looks at her and nods]
Edith Sussman : No... you're not to be trusted!
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Tony Parker : I heard your father died of a massive heart attack.
Edith Sussman : So they said. But there's something not right about it.
Tony Parker : Being a man of the world, I have friends in interesting places. Mind if I... do a little leg work?
Edith Sussman : Yeah, sure... But I thought you were under mother's spell?
Tony Parker : Haven't you heard? There's a new witch in town.
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Tony Parker : You can't discard me like one of your false eyelashes!