Connie and Carla (2004)

Nia Vardalos: Connie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Connie : Let your eyes crinkle, let your skin wrinkle.

  Connie : Our lines show that we've lived.

  Connie : If he doesn't love you when you look like a map, tell him to hit the road.

• Connie : We could be LA girls now, we could work out.

  [Connie and Carla think for a second, then laugh hysterically] 

  Carla : Good one.

• Connie : We gotta go some place where we can just blend in. Somewhere where they'd never look for us, because there's no theatre, no musical theatre, no dinner theatre, no culture at all!

  Carla : Los Angeles.

• Lee : All queens rise

  [they all rise and put their hands on their breasts] 

  Brian : Oh blessed Saint Mary of drag queens. Please grant your never humble servants and our new friends with grace, jewels, and support hose.

  Lee , Brian , Paul , Robert : Gay-men

  Connie , Carla : Gay-men

• Connie : Carla, calm down. Your voice is giving me cramps.

• Lee : Good falsies. What do you use?

  Connie : None of your beeswax.

  [Lee proceeds to feel her breasts] 

  Carla : Yea, they're really good you should all have a feel.

  [All of the guys walk over to feel her breasts] 

  Robert : Supple. Good.

  Connie : Ok, then.

  [Gives Carla a look] 

• [while on stage, pretender to be a man in drag] 

  Carla : I have a confession to make.

  Connie : Carla no

  Carla : ...I am... an EATER!

• Connie : I like him!

  Connie : I saw him before when we were still girls. He was standing out front. We had this moment Carla. He was nice to me.

  Carla : What are you talking about?

  Connie : Right. Why would he ever be attracted to me? I'm a drag queen.

• Carla : Maybe we're having a delayed reaction to the trauma of being shot at like those guys in 'Nam.

  Connie : You can say 'Name Carla. You weren't in 'Nam. You have to call in Vietnam.

  Carla : Shut up Connie! I can call it what I want!

• Connie : Oh God! I kissed Jeff! I kissed Jeff and I wanna kiss him again without my wig!

• Connie : [she and Carla are having a fight]  Ow! Your knee is in my cootchie!