Monster Garage (2002–2021)
Jesse James: Self
Quotes
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Narrator : Speaking for gearheads and garage mechanics everywhere, Jesse answers that one-word question: why?
Jesse James : [innocently] 'Cause it's wrong.
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[Jesse drags over a beer keg]
Jesse James : Two years of college and this is all I learned.
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Jesse James : I dont praise the lord, as much as I praise the lowered.
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[Jesse cuts the exhaust off of a car and it hits him in the face.]
Jesse James : Now, I know why I'm not a car mechanic anymore. Oh, wait, I guess I *am* a car mechanic.
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Jesse James : Looks like we're building something a little kid would draw.
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Jesse James : [crossing himself] Is that the old "My head, chest, and both arms hurt"?
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Jesse James : [checking off an imaginary list after crashing the Hell Camino in a figure 8 race] Things to do today: ram Billy!
"Barefoot" Billy Ziemann : [doing the same] Things to do today: train rookie!
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Jesse James : [someone has just finished explaining the rules of a steamboat race] What do we get if we win?
[the crowd laughs]