- Rachael: Just so I understand, um, you want to have a war to divide up the country, in order to keep blacks away from the whites, then sneak across the border and meet me for coffee.
- Ned: Or a movie or something...
- Orderly Johnny: Ned. Ned! You're supposed to be in Mr. Johnson's office now.
- Ned: Okay.
- Rachael: It's a date. I'll meet you on the barbed wire fence.
- Rachael: Y'know, you really should stop using the word nigger. You know? You already showed me you can say it. And you came real close to spelling it, you sang it that time, which was really nice. So if you want to talk to me, and apparently you do, don't say it to my face. Wait 'til I walk away, and then say it. Like a good white person should.
- Rachael: Oh, god, Ned, wake up. They were assholes. Get it. Assholes. Whether they were white, jewish, black, they're assholes. You wanna hate somebody so badly, hate the friggin' assholes, 'cause they're everywhere.
- Ned: 'Cause it's cool. I almost got killed. Not everybody almost gets killed. The only reason why I didn't die was 'cause I had to pee. That's pretty cool.
- Shelly Nelson: This is Shelly Nelson and I would like to be a guest on your talk show. My son is a neo-nazi skinhead who was implicated in the murder of a black man and who is now currently engaged to a black woman, who he met at the psychiatric ward. I'm sure the producers know my number.