Everything Is Illuminated (2005)
Elijah Wood: Jonathan Safran Foer
Photos
Quotes
-
Alex : You make sex often with American girl?
Jonathan : Not really.
Alex : What is mean by "not really?"
Jonathan : I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either.
Alex : I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis.
Jonathan : Yes, he did.
Alex : Everyne in Ukraine has penis like that.
Jonathan : Even the women?
Alex : You make joke, yes?
Jonathan : Yes.
-
Jonathan : I'm a vegetarian.
Alex : You're a what?
Jonathan : I don't eat meat.
Alex : How can you not eat meat?
Jonathan : I just don't.
Alex : [to Grandfather, in Russian] He says he does not eat meat.
Grandfather : [to Alex, in Russian] What?
Alex : No meat?
Jonathan : No meat.
Alex : Steak?
Jonathan : No...
Alex : Chickens!
Jonathan : No...
Alex : And what about the sausage?
Jonathan : No, no sausage, no meat!
Alex : [to Grandfather, in Russian] He says he does not eat any meat.
Grandfather : [to Alex, in Russian] Not even sausage?
Alex : [to Grandfather, in Russian] I know!
Grandfather : [to Alex, in Russian] What is wrong with him?
Alex : What is wrong with you?
Jonathan : Nothing, I just don't eat meat!
-
Jonathan : I'm distressed by dogs.
Alex : [in Russian to Grandfather] He is afraid of dogs.
Grandfather : [in Russian to Alex] Bullshit. No one is afraid of dogs.
-
Alex : How much currency would a first-rate accountant receive in America?
Jonathan : I don't know, a lot, probably, if he or she is good.
Alex : She?
Jonathan : Or he.
Alex : Are there Negro accountants?
Jonathan : Yes, there are *African American* accountants, but you don't want to use that word.
Alex : And homosexual accountants?
Jonathan : There are homosexual *everythings*. There are homosexual garbage men.
Alex : [shocked] And how much currency would a Negro homosexual accountant receive?
Jonathan : You really shouldn't use that word.
Alex : Which word?
Jonathan : The N-word. It's not *the* N-word, but...
Alex : Negro?
Jonathan : Yeah, that one.
Alex : But I dig them all the way. They are premium people.
-
[after an old man gives them directions, Jonathan hands him a pack of cigarettes]
Alex : What are you doing?
Jonathan : For helping us.
Alex : What?
Jonathan : Well, I read in my guidebook that you can't find Marlboro cigarettes here so you should take them everywhere as tips.
Grandfather : [In Ukrainian]
[to the man]
Grandfather : He doesn't eat meat.
-
Alex : Jonfen. What you said at the hotel about Ukrainians before the war.
Jonathan : Yeah?
Alex : Do you think it's possible that my grandfather, he...
[Very long silence]
Jonathan : Your shirt's inside out.
Alex : What?
Jonathan : Your shirt's inside out.
Alex : What does it mean, inside out?
Jonathan : Nothing. It's just that the inside of your shirt is on the outside and the outside is on...
Alex : [stares at him, uncomprehendingly]
Jonathan : ...Forget it.
-
Jonathan : [after Alex asks why he collects family artifacts] I don't know, why does anybody do anything? It's just... something to do.