Satellite City (1996– )

Boyd Clack: Gwynne

Quotes 

• [the boys are watching Wales losing at Rugby] 

  Gwynne : We was better when we all had initials... JJ, JPR...

  Dai the barman : MD.

  Gwynne : MD? Who's MD?

  Dai the barman : Mervyn Davies.

  Gwynne : Mervyn Davies wasn't known as MD.

  Dai the barman : No but they's his initials though.

  Gwynne : Yes Dai, but he was known as 'Merv the Swerve'

  Dad : In that case he should be called M the S. M for Merv, S for Swerve and 'The' for 'The'.

• Randy : Even when I was with the Hopi Indians I found gainful employment watching mudhuts dry

  Gwynne : Aye but there's probably a lower unemployment rate in the Nevada desert

• Randy : Are you alright Idris?

  Dad : No!

  Randy : I noticed you were up half the night

  Dad : I was in the garden

  Gwynne : Sitting in his vest in the rain he was

  Dad : I was trying to catch pneumonia

• Randy : There must be some jobs, Gwynne's got a job

  Dad : Yeah but he's been there since he left school. I think they forgot to sack him

  Randy : It's still a job, what is it you do exactly?

  Gwynne : Do?

  Randy : Yeah

  Gwynne : Well it's difficult to put into words really Randy boy. I go in in the morning, and then I potch about until dinner time... then I have dinner. Then after dinner I... that's a good question and I can't answer it, not off the top of my head just like that... but I do do something, remind me to ask Moira

• Randy : I need to restore my energies. I'll do some yoga when I get back. Stand on my head for a couple of hours.

  Gwynne : I'll stand on your head for a couple of hours if you think it'll do any good

• Dai the barman : Where's the Ayatollah today then?

  Moira price : That's a good question Dai

  Gwynne : Is it?

  Moira price : Yes Gwynne. I mean, when did Dad last miss his one o'clock pint?

  Gwynne : [Thinking]  Let's see, March the... seventh... nineteen sixty...

  Dai the barman : Five

  Gwynne : Five wasn't it. He'd been knocked unconscious by Hayden Webb's father outside the fish shop for calling his bricklaying "baroque"