Satellite City (1996– )

Rhodri Hugh: Dai the barman

Quotes 

• [the boys are watching Wales losing at Rugby] 

  Gwynne : We was better when we all had initials... JJ, JPR...

  Dai the barman : MD.

  Gwynne : MD? Who's MD?

  Dai the barman : Mervyn Davies.

  Gwynne : Mervyn Davies wasn't known as MD.

  Dai the barman : No but they's his initials though.

  Gwynne : Yes Dai, but he was known as 'Merv the Swerve'

  Dad : In that case he should be called M the S. M for Merv, S for Swerve and 'The' for 'The'.

• [Spike Malarky is on trial in the club] 

  Randy : Spike Malarky, you are accused of sneaking into our house, confusing Idris with psuedo-philosphical ideas and stealing an expensive executive toy. How do you plead?

  Spike Malarky : I never done it!

  Dai the barman : I'd like to point out that there's only three people on the jury. One of them is predisposed to the accuser because she has an obvious sexual infatuation for the lawyer, the other one is mentally challenged and the third one is non compost mentist.

• Moira price : Randy's been looking for a job, Dai

  Dai the barman : A Job? What job?

  Randy : There were these turkeys right? So naturally I assumed they'd need caring for. Feeding, talking to, that sort of thing. So I went in to apply.

  Dai the barman : Turkey strangler was it?

  Randy : Yeah

• Dai the barman : Where's the Ayatollah today then?

  Moira price : That's a good question Dai

  Gwynne : Is it?

  Moira price : Yes Gwynne. I mean, when did Dad last miss his one o'clock pint?

  Gwynne : [Thinking]  Let's see, March the... seventh... nineteen sixty...

  Dai the barman : Five

  Gwynne : Five wasn't it. He'd been knocked unconscious by Hayden Webb's father outside the fish shop for calling his bricklaying "baroque"