Satellite City (1996– )

Michael Neill: Randy

Quotes 

• [Spike Malarky is on trial in the club] 

  Randy : Spike Malarky, you are accused of sneaking into our house, confusing Idris with psuedo-philosphical ideas and stealing an expensive executive toy. How do you plead?

  Spike Malarky : I never done it!

  Dai the barman : I'd like to point out that there's only three people on the jury. One of them is predisposed to the accuser because she has an obvious sexual infatuation for the lawyer, the other one is mentally challenged and the third one is non compost mentist.

• Doctor : Why didn't you marry again Price? Open your shirt.

  Dad : No woman could ever replace my Angharad.

  Doctor : She was a formidible woman Price, I agree.

  Dad : Do you know she could carry a goat in one hand from Ton Pentre to Maerdy.

  Randy : Why would she want to do that Idris?

  Dad : Well she had the shopping in the other hand.

• Dad : You can't go to Cardiff mun

  Randy : Why not Idris?

  Dad : Why not?

  Randy : Well yeah, why not?

  Dad : Well they eat people's heads in Cardiff

  Randy : I don't think that's true.

  Dad : Well you'll have your head eaten then

  Randy : I'm not saying I want to go to Cardiff

  Dad : It's the capital of head eaters mun!

• Randy : Even when I was with the Hopi Indians I found gainful employment watching mudhuts dry

  Gwynne : Aye but there's probably a lower unemployment rate in the Nevada desert

• Randy : Are you alright Idris?

  Dad : No!

  Randy : I noticed you were up half the night

  Dad : I was in the garden

  Gwynne : Sitting in his vest in the rain he was

  Dad : I was trying to catch pneumonia

• Dad : You'll grow a little moustache and forget all about us

  Randy : A little moustache?

  Dad : Aye, like that Ian Rush

• Randy : There must be some jobs, Gwynne's got a job

  Dad : Yeah but he's been there since he left school. I think they forgot to sack him

  Randy : It's still a job, what is it you do exactly?

  Gwynne : Do?

  Randy : Yeah

  Gwynne : Well it's difficult to put into words really Randy boy. I go in in the morning, and then I potch about until dinner time... then I have dinner. Then after dinner I... that's a good question and I can't answer it, not off the top of my head just like that... but I do do something, remind me to ask Moira

• Randy : I need to restore my energies. I'll do some yoga when I get back. Stand on my head for a couple of hours.

  Gwynne : I'll stand on your head for a couple of hours if you think it'll do any good

• Moira price : Randy's been looking for a job, Dai

  Dai the barman : A Job? What job?

  Randy : There were these turkeys right? So naturally I assumed they'd need caring for. Feeding, talking to, that sort of thing. So I went in to apply.

  Dai the barman : Turkey strangler was it?

  Randy : Yeah