- Lorenzo: [after getting waken up by the nun, getting discovered that he isn't deaf and mute] Ehmm... A miiiiiracle! I CAN SPEAK!
- Tindaro: [narrating about Gerbinos sex-life] There isn't much going on under his pants. Funny, I've heard that he's the biggest dick in town...
- Count Dzerzhinsky: [when crossing their ways, as both are chasing after Gerbino] Where did he go?
- Lorenzo: Uhh... That way.
- [points at left]
- Count Dzerzhinsky: Okay, but wait! Who are you?
- Lorenzo: Lorenzo di Lamberti.
- Count Dzerzhinsky: Right! The robber on the road! I am Count Dzerzhins...
- Lorenzo: [runs away, annoyed] I know! I KNOW!
- Count Dzerzhinsky: [shouts after Lorenzo] FIRST SON!
- [pause]
- Count Dzerzhinsky: Only son, nine sisters!
- [runs after Lorenzo]
- Tindaro: [while marrying Gerbino and Pampinea] Pampinea... have you taken a bath?
- Pampinea: I have taken a bath this day, father.
- Tindaro: Witnesses of this holy matrimony, this woman come pure in both body and soul... Now, Gerbino Della Ratta, have you taken a bath.
- Gerbino: Yes.
- Tindaro: When?
- Gerbino: I have taken a bath!
- Tindaro: Are you sure? Downstairs? In between your legs?
- Gerbino: WHAT?
- Tindaro: Show me you hands...
- Gerbino: This is ridiculous!
- [shows his hands]
- Tindaro: Uggh! You have dirt in your fingernails!
- Gerbino: So, what's wrong?
- Tindaro: Now I can't really say "Witness of this holy matrimony, this man comes with pure body and soul, but with dirty fingernails", now can I?
- Gerbino: [goes to the fountain, washing his hands, goes back to Pampinea and Tindaro, waves hand at Tindaros face] Happy?
- [Tindaro nods]
- Pampinea: [to Gerbino] He was trying to help...
- Tindaro: Yeah, exactly...