Fido (2006)

David Kaye: Narrator

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Narrator : [with schlocky sensationalism]  Zomcon presents A Bright New World. From the darkest depths of outer space came an evil no man could predict. A cloud of radiation engulfed our great planet. Scientists discovered that these space particles caused the reanimation of dead bodies. Zombies. Creature with but one destructive need, to devour the flesh of the living. And so we were forced to defend our homeland. The Zombie Wars. Mankind against legions of the undead.

  Narrator : But in our darkest hour, a savior. Zomcon, and our founder Dr. Hrothgar Geiger. Dr. Geiger discovered that if the brain was destroyed, the zombie was destroyed, never to reanimate. And so, the Zombie Wars were won. Zomcon built security systems like the perimeter fence that encloses our town in a wall of protective steel. And surrounds other towns right across this great land.

  Narrator : But even within the fence, danger lurked. Lingering radiation meant that anyone who died became a zombie. Be careful Mrs. Smith! He's not the man you married. And then a breakthrough - the domestication collar. With the collar in place, a red light comes on telling us that the zombie's desire for human flesh has been contained, making the zombie as gentle as a household pet. But if the collar light goes out, call Zomcon, or push the nearest safety button, and we'll be there to handle any zombie problem, large or small. Thanks to Zomcon we can all become productive members of society, even after we die. Or for those who can afford it, a Zomcon funeral complete with head-coffin, guarantees you a burial that you won't come back from.

  Narrator : Your tax dollars allow Zomcon new ways to protect our homeland from the zombie threat, giving us more time to relax and be with our families. So thank you, Zomcon, for winning the Zombie Wars, and building a company for tomorrow that gives us a safer future today. Zomcon. A better life through containment.