"Die Frau des Heimkehrers" is a German television film from 2006, so this one has its 15th anniversary next year. Like most other small screen releases in my country, it runs for 1.5 hours, minimally under, and sadly also like many others, it is a failure from beginning to end. The director is Gabi Kubach and the writer is Felix Huby. Both were already over 60 when they made this film and really had a fairly packed body of work, which makes it even more shocking that despite the experience they had and the long time they worked in the industry, they still weren't capable of coming up with at least a semi-decent movie. And me saying this means actually something because otherwise I really like war-themed films or films that play during wartime, even if specific battle scenes are not included. I count this film among these. It may be set in the years after WWII, but it's really all about the years of war. Anyway, as for Kubach and Huby, it's probably good they have been retired for a long time now because if they did not have any talent back then deep into the second half of their lives, then they are probably way beyond the state where there is hope left for them to come up with a quality film. Especially for Huby. A director admittedly can only save so much if the script he is give is complete garbage. Then again, you don't even need the script to know this is a bad film. The inclusion of actress Christine Neubauer, who plays the title character here, is telling enough. If you know a bit about German film, especially German television films, then you have certainly come across her before already. She is as bad as it gets. No versatility, no range, plays the same character in every movie, even if this film takes place many decades before her more modern works etc. Also she has three different face expression max for 90 minutes. So why does (or did) she get cast for lead roles? Well, I can only speculate. I don't think she is really attractive, but I guess some like her voluptuous figure. That's also the only reason I can think of why men would watch her films. As for women, there are more reasons and you can easily see in the title here that this film was made mostly for women by including the mein character in the title and it is her and not her male co-lead Timothy Peach, who admittedly is not a good actor either, but next to Neubauer he looks like Pacino. He is probably in one third of the film as well in the first hour before the two characters are united, but yeah, mentioning a female character in the title will attract more female audiences. Anyway, what I actually wanted to say is that said body shape of Neubauer is also a reason why females would watch her movies. She is not super thin, she does not look like a model, i.e. they are less critical about their own imperfections. But this is not the main reason I believe. The main reason is that she always plays likable, humble character, who treat others really well and who are somewhat perfect, even if they are those who don't see themlseves that way at all. And they deal with other treating them badly and suffer because of that. So all these characters I just mentioned eventually have to go over to the actress and she is completely associated with these characters, so people say: "Oh the nice Neubauer is in this film again. She always plays such beautiful (on the inside) characters, let's watch what she does this time." No clue why they are saying that as they just said they know exactly what she is going to portray. Then again, maybe I should simply be happy that Neubauer has never really tried to play villain characters because given her complete absence of talent, this would have turned into a gigantic mess looking at how messy all her easier performances are already and how she completely failed with each and every single one of them, although they are not demanding at all. Just take her in this film here: Obviously she is 100% against the Nazis and her character and her character's mother have a nice time going against the father who just does not see evil entirely in them. The father, by the way, is played by experienced actor Peter Sodann. If there was anything tolerable about this film, then it was him. By the way, he once ran for Federal President here in my country. With no chance to win though.
Anyway, back to the film and mostly Neubauer. There is also always some kind of erotic component in her movies. Even a WWII movie about a grieving (potential) widow is no exception. You don't have to wait long for it even. After the first scene was still somewhat alright, the film hits rock bottom when we see her man return home for a while and when they have sex, apparently he orgasms immediately and tells us and his partner that was just because he thought of her every night when he was absent. So yeah, they are really stooping to the lowest lows here in trying to convince us how desirable Neubauer is. Disgusting stuff. Later on, we see a scene when the man's captors are also having sex while he is trying to flee. Again very much for the sake of it. Now if I hadn't already said the film hit rock-bottom, then there are a dozen other occasions that would normally by far the weakest moment in 99% of all other films, but here each of these moments are just one of many. Take the example when he has returned how he stands up and says what he had to say at his prison camp. Or take the examples of his son not recognizing him immediately when he stands outside. Child acting at its worst, but then again he was in "good" company here. What do you expect playing in a movie that has Neubauer in the lead. Pretty embarrassing though to see he actually pursued an acting career. I just hope he has gotten a lot better over the years, otherwise he is just another actor who shows the world that you don't need any talent to be successful. Okay, one thhing that stands out really about this movie is how they completely broke theoretically relevant and haunting scenes. I mentioned the man's flight earlier. It wwas a matter of life and death and honestly, I have never seen a similar scene with said background that left me so unattached. Took a special lack of talent for that from everybody involved. Another scene would be the rape scene. Pseudo important and as bad as it gets. There we are supposed to feel sorry for the female protagonist that with all ths ewent through, now she has to suffer also through the worst that can happen to a woman, even if it is done by her husband. Like I said in the title, they it is included here in this movie, it is an absolute insult to all actual victims of rape. So shoddy. So void of talent. The moment when the man leaves again after his temporary stay was by the way so poorly done that it felt like from a high school amateur production with everybody waving their Nazi flags. Same is true about another scene at the train station, namely when she waits for the man to return and we see a minor character showing her a photo of her son and she says how old he was last time she saw him. Well, the person on the photo was much older than that, easily over 10 years, so it made no sense at all. The attention to detail (or lack thereof) from this movie is just an abomination. Finally, another tragically bad moment is that the main character starts for the first time really to make out with her man's best friend because she was sure her man would never return. Of course, they also handled this scene and moment in a way where you can say nothing about Neubauer's character, nothing negative. She waited so long. Other people told her to do so and she was still really hesitant because she loved her man, the one that was missing. Of course, the same night she now passionately kisses the other guy (yep there are constantly men interested in the oh so beautiful and amazing title character, the art of make-believe, or I shoudl say "fart" of make-believe), her actual husband returns home. How realistic. But as much as this film sucks during its key segments and crucial plot references, it also sucks in these smaller moments. Like when she talks to her mother about how strong she is, her mother answers something like that her daughter is much stronger and Neubauer's face expression in that scene.. I just can't. Or when towards the end, they apparently also wanted to make a statement about feminism and how the main character was capable of succeeding in life without a man by her side and for that they used her ability to drive a big car and her man is really surprised and stunned. It's all so cringeworthy. I could list many other examples why this film is a complete failure, but I think I'd rather try to forget about it as soon as possible instead of remembering any more of this garbage. You should do the same. Or even better: Do not even watch this mess. Stay far far away from it. Even for those who really care for war-themed (or war-related) films, this one here is an outcome you want to skip at all costs. Yes it is this bad. If I gave out ratings that are lower than two out of ten, I would not hesitate to do so here. Fat thumbs-down and the most disgusting thing is that this film cost no less than two million. I have seen a lot of failure from Regina Ziegler Filmproduktion films, but this is really unbelievable. And who pays for that? Correct, the German citizens who are forced (no joke!) to pay a double-digit sum every single month to the television stations who made this film (and many others). Unreal.
Anyway, back to the film and mostly Neubauer. There is also always some kind of erotic component in her movies. Even a WWII movie about a grieving (potential) widow is no exception. You don't have to wait long for it even. After the first scene was still somewhat alright, the film hits rock bottom when we see her man return home for a while and when they have sex, apparently he orgasms immediately and tells us and his partner that was just because he thought of her every night when he was absent. So yeah, they are really stooping to the lowest lows here in trying to convince us how desirable Neubauer is. Disgusting stuff. Later on, we see a scene when the man's captors are also having sex while he is trying to flee. Again very much for the sake of it. Now if I hadn't already said the film hit rock-bottom, then there are a dozen other occasions that would normally by far the weakest moment in 99% of all other films, but here each of these moments are just one of many. Take the example when he has returned how he stands up and says what he had to say at his prison camp. Or take the examples of his son not recognizing him immediately when he stands outside. Child acting at its worst, but then again he was in "good" company here. What do you expect playing in a movie that has Neubauer in the lead. Pretty embarrassing though to see he actually pursued an acting career. I just hope he has gotten a lot better over the years, otherwise he is just another actor who shows the world that you don't need any talent to be successful. Okay, one thhing that stands out really about this movie is how they completely broke theoretically relevant and haunting scenes. I mentioned the man's flight earlier. It wwas a matter of life and death and honestly, I have never seen a similar scene with said background that left me so unattached. Took a special lack of talent for that from everybody involved. Another scene would be the rape scene. Pseudo important and as bad as it gets. There we are supposed to feel sorry for the female protagonist that with all ths ewent through, now she has to suffer also through the worst that can happen to a woman, even if it is done by her husband. Like I said in the title, they it is included here in this movie, it is an absolute insult to all actual victims of rape. So shoddy. So void of talent. The moment when the man leaves again after his temporary stay was by the way so poorly done that it felt like from a high school amateur production with everybody waving their Nazi flags. Same is true about another scene at the train station, namely when she waits for the man to return and we see a minor character showing her a photo of her son and she says how old he was last time she saw him. Well, the person on the photo was much older than that, easily over 10 years, so it made no sense at all. The attention to detail (or lack thereof) from this movie is just an abomination. Finally, another tragically bad moment is that the main character starts for the first time really to make out with her man's best friend because she was sure her man would never return. Of course, they also handled this scene and moment in a way where you can say nothing about Neubauer's character, nothing negative. She waited so long. Other people told her to do so and she was still really hesitant because she loved her man, the one that was missing. Of course, the same night she now passionately kisses the other guy (yep there are constantly men interested in the oh so beautiful and amazing title character, the art of make-believe, or I shoudl say "fart" of make-believe), her actual husband returns home. How realistic. But as much as this film sucks during its key segments and crucial plot references, it also sucks in these smaller moments. Like when she talks to her mother about how strong she is, her mother answers something like that her daughter is much stronger and Neubauer's face expression in that scene.. I just can't. Or when towards the end, they apparently also wanted to make a statement about feminism and how the main character was capable of succeeding in life without a man by her side and for that they used her ability to drive a big car and her man is really surprised and stunned. It's all so cringeworthy. I could list many other examples why this film is a complete failure, but I think I'd rather try to forget about it as soon as possible instead of remembering any more of this garbage. You should do the same. Or even better: Do not even watch this mess. Stay far far away from it. Even for those who really care for war-themed (or war-related) films, this one here is an outcome you want to skip at all costs. Yes it is this bad. If I gave out ratings that are lower than two out of ten, I would not hesitate to do so here. Fat thumbs-down and the most disgusting thing is that this film cost no less than two million. I have seen a lot of failure from Regina Ziegler Filmproduktion films, but this is really unbelievable. And who pays for that? Correct, the German citizens who are forced (no joke!) to pay a double-digit sum every single month to the television stations who made this film (and many others). Unreal.
