Blake's 7 (TV Series)
Ultraworld (1980)
Peter Tuddenham: Zen, Orac
Quotes
-
Orac : The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.
Vila Restal : [totally confused] Eh?
Orac : Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?
Vila Restal : You'd only spoil it.
Orac : I thought you liked riddles.
Vila Restal : I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tin tax or something.
Orac : That's very clever.
Vila Restal : What is?
Orac : For "idiosyncratic syntax" you substituted "idiotic tin tax". Yes, very good.
Vila Restal : [brightening] Is it?
Orac : Another one, please.
Vila Restal : Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?
Orac : I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?
Vila Restal : A tap on the head.
Orac : "A tap on the head." Yes, I see. In this instance the word "tap" has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, "tap on the head" has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...
[Vila grabs his head in frustration]
-
[Vila is teaching Orac riddles]
Vila : No, Orac, you don't understand. I say "Where to space pilots leave their ships?" and you say, "I don't know, where do space pilots leave their ships?"
Orac : And supposing I don't wish to know that?
Vila : But you've got to say it or the riddle won't work.
Orac : It is plainly nonsensical.
Vila : Of course. That's the whole idea.
Orac : I fail to see why I take part in a meaningless, illogical conversation. It doesn't make sense and is therefore a waste of time. I'm shutting down.
Vila : Do it for me this once, Orac, please. Ready? Where do space pilots leave their ships?
Orac : I don't know. Where do space pilots leave their ships?
Vila : At parking meteors.
[Vila laughs. Orac shuts off indignantly]
-
Vila : Knock, knock.
Orac : Who's there?
Vila : Atch.
Orac : Atch who?
Vila : Sorry, I didn't know you had a cold.
Orac : A cold what?
Vila : No, not a cold what. Just a cold. You know, cold, chill.
Orac : I am not subject to colds and chills. Some trace deposits on my anodizers perhaps, but I am quite capable of dealing with that myself.
Vila : [giving up] Forget it. Go back to sleep.
Orac : Is this another riddle?
Vila : No.
-
Orac : The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.
Vila : [totally confused] Eh?
Orac : Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?
Vila : You'd only spoil it.
Orac : I thought you liked riddles.
Vila : I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tintax or something.
Orac : That's very clever.
Vila : What is?
Orac : For idiosyncratic syntax you substituted idiotic tintax. Yes, very good.
Vila : [brightening] Is it?
Orac : Another one, please.
Vila : Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?
Orac : I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?
Vila : A tap on the head.
Orac : A tap on the head. Yes, I see. In this instance the word tap has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, tap on the head has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...
[Vila grabs his head in frustration]