'Allo 'Allo! (TV Series)

The Gateau from the Chateau (1985)

Hilary Minster: General Erich von Klinkerhoffen

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Von Klinkerhoffen has ordered the Colonel to woo Madame Edith] 

  Col. Von Strom : How can I put this? I don't fancy her.

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : Colonel, how can *I* put it? How do you fancy the Russian Front?

  Capt. Hans Geering : She's a good cook.

  Col. Von Strom : [starting to smile]  Oh, yes. I'd forgotten that.

• [Rene has covered the gâteau for the Kaiser's birthday with sand] 

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : You fool, what do you think you are doing?

  René : I did this in memory of the day that the Kaiser was buried.

• [Herr Flick has received the antidote to the poison from the dart intended to kill General von Klinkerhoffen] 

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : [Indicating Herr Flick]  What is the matter with that man?

  Private Helga Geerhart : [pauses]  He had the fish!

• Herr Flick : I believe you requested my presence.

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : I did not. I sent for you.

• Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : ...you will therefore, at once, pay attention to this lady

  [Edith Artois] 

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : and if possible make her your mistress.

  Col. Von Strom : General, how can I put it? I don't fancy her.

  Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : Coronel, how can I put it? How do you fancy the Russian Front?

  Capt. Hans Geering : She's a good cook

  Col. Von Strom : I'd forgotten that!

• Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen : [General von Klinkerhoffen lights the candles on the cake with a bomb, Captain Geering stands up]  were are you going?

  Capt. Hans Geering : To the little boys room, the Coronel also wants to go to the little boys room.

  Col. Von Strom : No, I do not.

  Capt. Hans Geering : Yes you do.

  Col. Von Strom : No, I do not!

  Capt. Hans Geering : Coronel.

  [whispers to Colonel von Strom] 

  Col. Von Strom : Yes I do!