- [introduction - Hitchcock stands in front of a dusty screen]
- Self - Host: Good evening, ladies and - Please don't adjust your sets. I think the picture tube needs... little dusting.
- [Hitchcock wipes the dust off the screen when a gong rings and another Hitchcock appears]
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: What is your wish, o master?
- Self - Host: Who are you?
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: I am Alfred, the genie of the lamp.
- Self - Host: Why, my name's Alfred, too!
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Why is it, master, that when you can have any wish you desire, you prefer small talk?
- Self - Host: Any wish I desire?
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: If you want me, rub the lamp.
- [Hitchcock rubs the screen again and, at the sound of the gong, Genie Alfred reappears]
- Self - Host: How long have you been in that tube?
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Master, you have a mania for the unimportant. I have been there for years. No one ever dusts and whoever heard of a genie conjured up by a vacuum cleaner? And now, master, the wish. And remember the words of Allah: "Think big."
- Self - Host: But what I want is priceless.
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Nothing is too great. Diamonds. Rubies.
- Self - Host: This will be too much to ask.
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Master! The wish! The wish!
- [Hitchcock rubs the screen again]
- Self - Host: Give me a commercial! Give me a commercial!
- [afterword - Hitchcock is still rubbing the screen]
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Ow! Don't rub so hard!
- Self - Host: Why don't you appear? I have two more wishes coming!
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: I think I know what you want. And I don't care to be there to see. Name your wish and it will be granted.
- Self - Host: Naturally, I would get a fastidious genie. Ladies and gentlemen, I present a rare and priceless gift - a television commercial, after which I shall take my leave until next week.
- [commercial break]
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: I have already granted the little man his third wish, which was to leave you until next week. Granting wishes is easier two at a time. I savor overhead. Now, if you know how to summon me, we shall probably be seeing more of each other.
- [fades away]
- Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Well, don't just sit there. Get the dust cloth!