- Shirley Bartlett: [entering the diner and accusing Alice of seeing her husband] Stay away from my husband!
- Florence Jean Castleberry: I promise! How'd you find out and who the hell are we talkin' about?
- Mel Sharples: [Yelling] Flo, pickup!
- Florence Jean Castleberry: [Looking at the dish] Ah! What is that?
- Mel Sharples: Come on, pick it up, pick it up.
- Florence Jean Castleberry: Without gloves?
- [Still sickened]
- Florence Jean Castleberry: What is it?
- Mel Sharples: Roast beef.
- Florence Jean Castleberry: You're kiddin'.
- Mel Sharples: You asked for it rare.
- Florence Jean Castleberry: I know, but that thing just stuck its tongue out at me!
- Florence Jean Castleberry: [Talking to the dish] Get back on that plate!
- Florence Jean Castleberry: Alice, this is America. You can do whatever you want to.
- [Referring to the IRS]
- Florence Jean Castleberry: unless they catch you.