All in the Family (TV Series)

Cousin Maude's Visit (1971)

Bea Arthur: Cousin Maude

Photos 

Quotes 

• Archie Bunker : Roosevelt sold us out to Joe Stalin at Gibraltar.

  Maude : They met at Yalta.

  Archie Bunker : He sold us out there too.

• Cousin Maude : Archie, you can either get up and eat breakfast, or lie there, feeding off your own fat.

  [pause] 

  Cousin Maude : And if you choose the latter, you could probably lie there for months.

• Archie Bunker : [Maude refuses to get out of Archie's chair]  Well, I got the secret weapon that can lay this little lady right away. Here we go. This country was ruined by Franklin Delano Roosevelt!

  Cousin Maude : You're fat.

  Archie Bunker : Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Franklin Delano Roosevelt...

  Edith Bunker : Archie, you promised never to say that name again in front of Maude.

  Archie Bunker : Franklin Delano Roosevelt!

  Edith Bunker : [to Maude]  He don't mean nothing. His whole family was for Roosevelt.

  Archie Bunker : That was for two terms. But that was it. We didn't know the guy was going to hold on to the job like a pope!

• Archie Bunker : This country was ruined by Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

  Maude : You're fat.

• Cousin Maude : [after Maude sings to wake everybody up]  Are you waiting for a special invitation? I said breakfast is on the table.

  Archie Bunker : I heard ya. So did every moose up in Canada.

• Archie Bunker : [Maude hands him his breakfast]  What's this?

  Cousin Maude : It's my own invention. Cream of Wheat with cheese.

  Archie Bunker : Cheese?

  Cousin Maude : It's light but it binds.

• Cousin Maude : That man had charisma!

  Archie Bunker : I don't care if he was sick!

• Edith Bunker : [runs up the stairs]  I'm sick!

  Archie Bunker : Edith, you can't be sick, who's gonna take care of us?

  Maude : [taps his shoulder]  Maudie's here.

• Archie Bunker : FDR had General MacArthur fired in Korea!

  Cousin Maude : That was Truman!

  Archie Bunker : Under secret, sealed orders from FDR!