Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Harley's Holiday (1994)

Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn, Dr. Harleen Quinzel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harley Quinn : There's one thing I've gotta know. Why'd you stay with me all day? Risking your butt for someone who's never given you anything but trouble?

  Batman : I know what it's like to try to rebuild a life.

  [He holds up a bag, and gives her the dress she wanted to buy, before getting in so much trouble] 

  Batman : I had a bad day too, once.

  [Ecstatically, she takes the dress, then stands on tiptoe to kiss his cheek] 

  Harley Quinn : Nice guys like you shouldn't have bad days.

• Harley Quinn : I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over, or blow me up! I didn't even get to keep my new dress. And I actually paid for it.

• Dr. Joan Leland : You've made wonderful progress, Harley. You've passed your competency hearing, and tomorrow, you will be released, mentally sane and sound.

  Harley Quinn : [Begins jumping up and down]  Weee! Wahoo! Whoopee! Yay! Yay! Yay!

  [Regains composure] 

  Harley Quinn : [sheepishly]  Uh... I mean thank you, Dr. Leland.

  Dr. Joan Leland : That's ok. You have every reason to be proud of yourself.

  The Scarecrow : [shouting off screen]  Unhand me!

  Dr. Joan Leland : I just wish the other inmates could make your sort of progress.

  [Batman and Robin are seen bringing in the Scarecrow] 

  The Scarecrow : I am the master of fear! The lord of despair! Cower before me in witless deter!

  Harley Quinn : Hi, Professor Crane.

  The Scarecrow : [Completely calm]  Good evening, child.

  [to Batman and Robin] 

  The Scarecrow : Worship me, fools! Worship me! Scream hosannas of anguish to Scarecrow, the all-terrible god of fear!

  [the orderlies come to take him away] 

  Robin : I think he's getting better.

• Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett : Any last words?

  Harley Quinn : Just one: BABIES!

  [Harley's hyenas crash through the wall and maul Boxy] 

  Harley Quinn : Play nice with your new chew toy.

• General Vreeland : You in the car! Release your hostage immediately!

  Veronica Vreeland : Daddy!

  Harley Quinn : Daddy? Oy!

  [Harley turns about and speeds away from General Vreeland] 

  Veronica Vreeland : Wait! What are you doing? That's my father!

  Harley Quinn : No, that's your father... IN A TANK!

• [Boxy Bennett grabs Veronica and holds her, pointing a gun] 

  Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett : Back off, freak, or the dame's history!

  [Harley knocks him out from behind with a fish] 

  Harley Quinn : Get your own hostage!

• Veronica Vreeland : Did you mean what you said back there? About sending me home?

  Harley Quinn : Sure. You're a good kid. And I do kinda feel a little bit responsible for all this.

  Veronica Vreeland : No kidding.

  [seeing how dejected Harley is] 

  Veronica Vreeland : So, what'll happen to you?

  Harley Quinn : If I'm lucky, I'll make it out of town before Bats hauls my heinie back to the bin.

  Veronica Vreeland : Can't you explain that it was all just a mistake?

  Harley Quinn : Ha! With my past? I don't even believe it myself.

  Veronica Vreeland : Look, let's make a deal. You get me out of this alive, and I'll drop all the charges.

  Harley Quinn : Yeah? Hey, you're all right, toots. For the first time today, I think things are finally looking up.

  [they scream as an explosion rocks nearby] 

• Harley Quinn : Hi, He-Man. Wanna race?

  Batman : Stop the car. Now!

  Harley Quinn : I think not.

  Robin : We wanna help you sort this out before it gets worse.

  Harley Quinn : Sure, like you helped poor Professor Crane last night. Sorry, boys. You ain't taking me back to Arkham.

• Bruce Wayne : Miss, please. I'm sure this has all been a simple misunderstanding. You don't want to mess things up on your first day out, do you?

  [knocking] 

  Bruce Wayne : Miss?

  Harley Quinn : [hitting him with the changing room door, trembling in anger]  I tried to play by the rules, but no! They wouldn't let me go straight. Society is to blame.

• Harley Quinn : [weakly]  I think I made a mess on your cape.

• Bruce Wayne : [catching Harley as she trips]  Are you all right?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : [her hyenas snarl at him]  Wow! I never saw them do that before.

  [recognizing him] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Hey! Don't I know you?

  Bruce Wayne : I don't think so.

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : [covering his eyes]  Something about that chin. I know! You're Bruce Wayne, the boy billionaire.

  [taking his hand] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Hmm. Unattached, I see.

  Veronica Vreeland : [clearing her throat]  May I help you, miss?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Uh-oh. Enter the jealous girlfriend.

• Harley Quinn : [Kissing Batman]  Mmmmmmmm... Mwah!

  [Sweetly] 

  Harley Quinn : Call me.

  Batman : [With a grin]  Don't press your luck.

  [Walks away] 

  Harley Quinn : [to a smiling Poison Ivy]  Eh, what are you looking at?

• Harley Quinn : Talk about grasping at straws! Oh well, at least I'm going out on a joke.

• Harley Quinn : Back off, rich boy! I'm armed!

  [whacks Bruce with the arm of a mannequin] 

• Dr. Harleen Quinzel : [seeing people recoiling from her]  Gee, what's wrong with them?

  [looking at her reflection] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit. It's so out of style, it's growing mold. I probably look like a total geek.