Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

The Laughing Fish (1993)

Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Joker : If this lunch meat figured out where we are, Batman won't be far behind. And why spoil my sharky's appetite, when I can feed him bigger fish?

  Harley Quinn : Eyugh! Again with the fish, I *hate* fish!

  [off Joker's glare] 

  Harley Quinn : Uh, no offense, Mr. J.

  The Joker : Poor Harley. This entire caper's been really rough on you, hasn't it?

  Harley Quinn : Uh-huh.

  The Joker : Cheer up! You can be my very own little mermaid.

  [Harley squeals with joy, then Joker pulls a giant rubber fish head over her, and laughs] 

  Harley Quinn : You're really sick, you know that, boss?

  The Joker : Mmm-hmmm.

• The Joker : Good morning, Mr., uh...

  [looking at his name plate] 

  The Joker : Francis. Please allow me to introduce my associates. Ms. Quinn.

  Harley Quinn : Enchante.

  The Joker : And messers, uh... oh. Their names escape me for the moment. No matter. We gentlemen of business have arrangements to discuss.

  G. Carl Francis : Uh... arrangements?

  The Joker : For my fish, of course. This has all been worked out far in advance, Francis. You are merely the last tiny cog in my grand design.

• [on TV Harley stands in the kitchen wearing a "kiss the cook" apron. The Joker's men are made up as young children] 

  Harley Quinn : They're finny and funny and oh so delish. They're joyful and jolly. Jokerfish!

  The Joker : Say, Mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight?

  Harley Quinn : What'll I feed the family tonight?

  [the Joker enters wearing a raincoat and hat. He looks like an old sea captain] 

  The Joker : Arr! Try me famous Joker fish. There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper and Happy Haddock.

  Alfred Pennyworth : [Watching with Batman]  This could cause a stampede to pork.

  The Joker : [He holds up a fork with a morsel of fish to Harley's mouth]  Yummy yum yum. Eat it!

  Harley Quinn : Uh, Mr. J? I have this little problem with fish.

  [he shoves the food into her mouth] 

  Harley Quinn : [With her mouth full]  Yummy yum yum.

  [Harley steps offscreen. The Joker turns to face the camera] 

  The Joker : Yes, friends, that's Jokerfish.

  [Harley is heard puking up the fish] 

  The Joker : Tasty, tempting, and of course...

  Joker's Men : Naturally low in cholesterol.

  The Joker : Coming to your local store.

  [He begins to grow angry] 

  The Joker : As soon as that nasty Mr. G. Carl Francis decides to give me my legal cut of the profits!

• Harley Quinn : Oh, my poor, poor puddin'.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : Come on, he was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac.

  Harley Quinn : Yeah. I'm really gonna miss him.

• Harley Quinn : Freeze, coppa! I got you covered, see?

  Detective Harvey Bullock : Well, if it ain't laughing boy's little henchwench. You're outgunned, sugar.

  Harley Quinn : Do tell.

  Detective Harvey Bullock : [she fires her gun, and he's restrained with a bundle of ropes]  AH! What? Whoa!

  The Joker : ["catching him" with a rod and reel]  Hoo! Look at what I caught. Kind of runty, though.

  [suspending him over a shark tank] 

  The Joker : I'm gonna have to throw it back.

• Harleen Quinzel : [the Joker places a giant fish head over Harley]  You're really sick, you know that, boss?

  The Joker : Hmm-humm.