- Bob: What's that, a cigarette? Ma, you can't smoke in here. That's oxygen.
- Bob's Mother: Relax, it's not lit. Besides, if they ever tell me I got five minutes to live, I don't want to waste em looking for it.
- Linda: Becker, what're you doing with all those oranges?
- Dr. John Becker: Quit asking, it isn't any of your business. Besides, I've got some bigger fish to fry.
- Jake Malinak: I don't smell any fish, I do smell oranges though.
- Dr. John Becker: You don't even know what orange is, you're blind. Anyway, I'm a doctor you guys. I got to cut open these oranges, take out the filling, and then put them back together. It's doctor training; you philistines couldn't comprehend. Toodalloo!
- Jake Malinak: I'm gonna break your legs Becker. Christmas is cancelled.