The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

A Real Nice Neighbor (1965)

Raymond Bailey: Milburn Drysdale

Quotes 

• Milburn Drysdale : Carrington, Mrs. Philip B., widow, financial rating AAA, between 23 and 24.

  Jane Hathaway : So young.

  Milburn Drysdale : What young? That's how many millions she's got.

  Jane Hathaway : Well how old a woman is she?

  Milburn Drysdale : Who cares? With that kind of money, she's in the prime of her life.

• Milburn Drysdale : Jed and Mrs. Carrington. They're perfectly mated, 50 million and 24 million. Oh, marriages like that are made in Fort Knox.

• Milburn Drysdale : Let's have the wedding here in the bank.

  Jane Hathaway : Wedding?

  Milburn Drysdale : Yes, they can be married in the vault. It will be a beautiful ceremony. Do you, 50 million take this 24 million to be your lawfully wedded co-depositor?

• Jane Hathaway : The fact is, we don't even know what Mrs. Carrington looks like.

  Milburn Drysdale : Well she's beautiful. Terrific figure.

  Jane Hathaway : How do you know?

  Milburn Drysdale : I've got her picture right here.

  Jane Hathaway : That is a financial report.

  Milburn Drysdale : Yes, isn't she lovely? And look at that cash on hand. What a figure!

• Milburn Drysdale : What's your idea of romance?

  Jane Hathaway : Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Venus and Adonis, Eloise and Avalon.

  Milburn Drysdale : Baloney! I'll bet Clampett and Carrington have got more money than all of them put together.

• Agnes : Two people can have all the money in the world and still not be happy.

  Milburn Drysdale : I think you'd better call a psychiatrist. You're cracking up.

• Agnes : If people are in love, they can be deliriously ecstatically happy without a penny to their name.

  Milburn Drysdale : I'll drive. You lie down in the back seat.

• Milburn Drysdale : You see, here in the city, things move at a faster pace than you're used to back in the hills. Back there, if you liked someone, you'd probably invite them to take a walk on Sunday afternoon, shoot them a rabbit or something, but out here, you have to shower them with gifts and attention. Now in addition to the flowers and candy, I've taken the liberty of picking these out for you.

  [shows him some jewelry] 

  Jed Clampett : Mr. Drysdale?

  Milburn Drysdale : And some perfume.

  Jed Clampett : Mr Drysdale?

  Milburn Drysdale : Yes?

  [Jed hands the gifts back] 

  Jed Clampett : Just shoot me a rabbit.