The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Double Naught Jethro (1965)

Max Baer Jr.: Jethro Bodine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jethro Bodine : Uncle Jed, get a hold a yourself. I got some bad news for ya.

  Jed Clampett : What is it, boy?

  Jethro Bodine : I hope this ain't gonna break your heart, but I just gotta say it.

  Jethro Bodine : Well come on, get it over with.

  Jethro Bodine : Uncle Jed, I decided I ain't gonna be a brain surgeon.

  Jed Clampett : Well I reckon I can bear up under that.

• Daisy Moses : You mean to say that you spent my vittles money on a movie?

  Jethro Bodine : Well I spent some of the money on vittles, there was boxes of popcorn, a half a dozen candy bars, and a couple of giant orange drinks.

  Daisy Moses : [to Jed]  Are you gonna hickory switch him or am I?

  Jethro Bodine : Ain't nobody gonna hickory switch me.

  Daisy Moses : What did you say?

  Jethro Bodine : Double naught spies don't get switched. Pert near cut in two by death rays, handcuffed to atom bombs, have iron hats throwed at 'em, but they wouldn't hold still for switchin'.

• Jethro Bodine : [explaining the plot of the movie Goldfinger]  The bad guys was after Fort Knox, and if old naught naught seven hadn't taken a hand, the next time Uncle Sam needed gold, he'd a been milkin' a dry cow.

• John Cushing : J.D. Clampett, that's Drysdale's star depositor. What is your connection with him?

  Jethro Bodine : Well, he's my... oh no, if there's any secret blabbin' to be done around here, she's gonna do it.

  Mabel Slocum : Me?

  John Cushing : What makes you think so?

  Jethro Bodine : Well Heck Fire! That's what always happens when a double naught spy tangles with a pretty girl. One kiss and she spills the beans. Watch this.

  [He kisses her and when they finish he's in a daze] 

  Jethro Bodine : J.D. Clampett is my uncle. He has pert near 50 million dollars in Mr. Drysdale's bank. My cousin Elly May commenced workin' there today.

  John Cushing : Well that's very interesting.

  [nods to Miss Slocum] 

  Mabel Slocum : [Miss Slocum kisses Jethro again]  What else can you tell us?

  Jethro Bodine : You keep kissin', I'll think of somethin'.

• Jed Clampett : You one of them double naught spies?

  Mabel Slocum : No.

  Jethro Bodine : They number girl spies different. She's what you call a 36-23-36.

  Mabel Slocum : Actually, I'm in new accounts at the Merchants Bank. I'd like to talk to you about using our facilities as a repository for some of your enormous reserves.

  Jed Clampett : Well I'll be glad to talk to you about that a whatever it means.

• Jethro Bodine : As long as your workin' on the shoes, would you mind hollowin' out the heel so I can put a little radio in it?

  Jed Clampett : A radio in the heel of your shoe?

  Jethro Bodine : Yes sir, that's where Double Naught Seven carries his.

  Jed Clampett : That seems like a mighty unhandy place to carry it. Why don't he just carry it in his pocket?

  Jethro Bodine : Well he... I can't tell you that.

  Jed Clampett : Secret, huh?

  Jethro Bodine : No sir, I just ain't sure.

• Jethro Bodine : There's somethin' I'm gonna need right away and that's iron for my hat.

  Jed Clampett : Iron for your hat?

  Jethro Bodine : Yes sir. There was this fella in the movie that had a iron hat. He kept throwin' it at Double Naught Seven.

  Jed Clampett : What fer?

  Jethro Bodine : Tryin' to kill him.

  Jed Clampett : Why didn't he just shoot him?

  Jethro Bodine : I can't tell you that neither.

• Jethro Bodine : Doggone it, Uncle Jed, I bet you ol' Double Naught Seven wouldn't let nobody swat him on the seat of his britches and send him runnin' for beans and fatback.

  Jed Clampett : Ol' Double Naught Seven ain't never run into Granny.

• Jethro Bodine : Listen, Uncle Jed, can I get me a spy car?

  Jed Clampett : What's a spy car?

  Jethro Bodine : Oh, wait till you hear about that rascal! It's got a top that flies off and a seat that if you set in it, it throws you from here to yonder, and it drops oil on the road so a feller followin' you will skid, and it shoots out smoke so he can't see.

  Jed Clampett : Sounds a heap like the truck.