The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Duke Steals a Wife (1963)

Donna Douglas: Elly May Clampett

Quotes 

• Elly May Clampett : [Elly May shows Jed Duke's new poodle friend]  I named her cotton patch, 'cause her hair grows in clumps.

  Jed Clampett : I reckon it was clipped that way, Elly May, but the fella that done it musta had the clippers in one hand and a jug in the other. He missed the biggest part of her.

  Elly May Clampett : Old Duke sure has took a fancy to her. He dug up four of his best bones and give them to her.

  Jed Clampett : She done a lot for Duke too. Before she come along, Duke was feelin' lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut, but lookit him now.

• Jed Clampett : I declare, this is the nosiest family a man was ever burdened with.

  Daisy Moses : Well lookit them shoes, all fresh oiled.

  Elly May Clampett : Fancy new laces, too!

  Cousin Pearl Bodine : And them's his best socks.

  Jethro Bodine : And it ain't even Sunday.

  Cousin Pearl Bodine : Son, every day's Sunday when you're in love.

  Jed Clampett : Now that takes the rag offen the bush. I ain't in love and I just oiled my shoes 'cause they was squeakin'.

  Daisy Moses : They been squeakin' for 15 years as I remember. You ain't never oiled 'em.