- Daisy Moses: There's no two ways about it. That child is gonna need help to trap that Sonny Drysdale.
- Jed Clampett: Elly May don't need to trap no man to git him.
- Daisy Moses: Every man that ever got git was git that way.
- Jed Clampett: Not me, we just happened to stop under a shady elm tree and I proposed to your daughter on the spur of the moment.
- Daisy Moses: That spur of the moment of yours took us six months schemin' and plannin'. Why we even trained that ole mare of yours to stop under that shady ole elm tree.
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: I tell you Jethrine, that's one place you got it over your cousin Elly May, playin' the pump organ.
- [examines Jethrine's hand]
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: Them hands can stretch purt near two octaves.
- Daisy Moses: Jed, no man is ready to get married, you gotta git him ready, like you git a steer ready for slaughter.
- Jed Clampett: Cain't you find somethin' else to compare it to?
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: Jethrine, why couldn't you have been born with some of my brains instead of just my beauty?
- Milburn Drysdale: Well, how are you and Elly May Clampett getting along?
- Sonny Drysdale: Marvelously. She's mad about me.
- Milburn Drysdale: Oh? How do you feel?
- Sonny Drysdale: The same.
- Milburn Drysdale: Really?
- Sonny Drysdale: I'm mad about me, too.