- Hedda Hopper: [driving the bulldozer] Some day Hollywood's going to thank me for this... Charge!
- [Bulldozes the Clampett City General Store]
- Bill Baldwin: This is Bill Baldwin speaking to you from our news helicopter. We're about to fly directly over the fabulous Beverly Hills estate of Mr. Jed Clampett. There's the beautiful front lawn which the Clampetts almost plowed up and planted in crops. There's the tree that Elly May climbs. And right down there someplace is where Granny hides her still. Yes ladies and gentlemen, that magnificent mansion is occupied by one of the strangest families of millionaires ever to migrate to Beverly Hills. No wonder people call them the Beverly Hillbillies.
- Bill Baldwin: Now coming into view on your left is the tennis court which Mr. Clampett converted into a stock pen and filled with cows and goats and chickens.
- Jed Clampett: [In front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre] Somebody has sure gone and messed up this poor man's ceement.
- Jethro Bodine: Looks like there was a whole bunch of 'em.
- Jethro Bodine: Bold rascals too. Wasn't enough to go tromping through it with their feet, they had to stick their hands in it too and write their names!
- Jed Clampett: [In front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre] Well, I reckon there's only one thing for me to do. I gotta mix up a batch of ceement and smooth out that mess.