- Jed Clampett: [while the airplane is taking off] By doggies, if he gits to goin' much faster, this thing is gonna leave the ground.
- Daisy Moses: Don't look now, but it is leavin' the ground.
- Jed Clampett: Jethro, you better get up there and tell that bus driver to slow down.
- Homer Winch: Say, how about going on a little sleigh ride?
- Daisy Moses: You promise to behave?
- Homer Winch: Sure I do!
- Daisy Moses: [disgusted] Well, we might as well stay here and sing.
- Jed Clampett: I reckon with our stuff outta there, ain't nothin' left anyone would wanna take, 'cept them old pictures.
- Jethro Bodine: Oh, Miss Hathaway says a couple of them pictures is Rembrandt's.
- Jed Clampett: Alright, after Christmas, we'll see he gets 'em back.
- Jethro Bodine: Uncle Jed, It took us 6 days to get out here. How are we gonna get back home in 5 or 6 hours?
- Jed Clampett: That bus driver must know a doozy of a short-cut.
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: Now then, I don't know what it takes to get engaged in Tulsa, but in these here hills, you've done enough to get yourself promised, hitched, and honeymooned!
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: You gimme my hand-knit socks. Yer feet can't get no colder than they are right now.