The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Jed Becomes a Banker (1963)
Raymond Bailey: Milburn Drysdale
Photos
Quotes
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Milburn Drysdale : Mr. Clampett, what are you shooting at?
Jed Clampett : Flies.
Milburn Drysdale : Flies? With a rifle?
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Daisy Moses : Why in tarnation do you wanna shoot at a saucer like this? If you ain't careful, you'll bust 'em.
Elly May Clampett : Whereabouts is the cups?
Milburn Drysdale : There aren't any cups.
Daisy Moses : See! You done busted 'em, didn't you?
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Milburn Drysdale : You mean to tell me you shoot flies sitting on that wall out there?
Jed Clampett : No, that wouldn't be sportin'. We get 'em on the wing.
Milburn Drysdale : Impossible.
Jethro Bodine : Oh no it ain't, Mr. Drysdale. We just smear a little sorghum on the wall and get 'em when they buzz in for a landin'.
Jed Clampett : The trick is not to get a bee. You get a bee, you miss your turn.
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Milburn Drysdale : [Jethro shoots 4 clay pidgeons with his rifle] Fantastic feat!
Jed Clampett : Yeah, they is big alright, but they help him to stand steady.
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Milburn Drysdale : Oh, Elly May, wouldn't you like to try to hit one of the targets?
Elly May Clampett : Shore would!
Milburn Drysdale : Well, which gun would you like to use?
Elly May Clampett : [pulls out a slingshot] Don't want no gun!
Jed Clampett : Elly May don't much cotton to firearms.
Milburn Drysdale : Don't tell me she's gonna try to hit...
Elly May Clampett : [sets herself, pulls back slingshot] Pull!
[launches perfect shot to shatter clay pigeon, sets arms akimbo and beams with satisfaction, Drysdale gets dejected, blank look on his face]
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Milburn Drysdale : [astonished at the Clampett's shooting abilities] I have never seen such marksmanship! Why, with any one of you as my teammate I can win tomorrow!
Jethro Bodine : I'll shoot with ya, Mr. Drysdale!
Daisy Moses : *I'll* shoot with ya, Mr. Drysdale!
Milburn Drysdale : Well thank you, but you see, my teammate has to be someone who works at the bank. And since Mr. Clampett here just happens to be my vice president...
Jed Clampett : Shore was a stroke'a luck fer me to git that job just in time to shoot with ya!
Jane Hathaway : [dripping with sarcastic cynicism] *Almost* as if it were planned.
[Drysdale gets pained look on face]