- Jed Clampett: I'm tellin' you Granny, you don't have to worry no more about Pearl comin' in your kitchen. She's gonna be spendin' her time gittin' herself a husband with her singin' and yodelin'.
- Daisy Moses: Jed, it ain't legal to torture a man into marryin' you.
- Milburn Drysdale: Margaret, if you want to lose weight, just stay home and we'll have dinner at the Clampett's every night. Now, you can't eat the food, but you won't leave hungry, because Cousin Pearl will yodel your appetite away.