The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Jethro's First Love (1963)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jed Clampett : Tell me, is the bank missin' any girls? I mean, Jethro might have toted one off.

• Jed Clampett : Looks like Jethro done all right.

  Daisy Moses : Found hisself a girl?

  Jed Clampett : From here, it looks like he found himself a girl and a half.

• Milburn Drysdale : I suppose you might call that an inside joke.

  Jed Clampett : Oh! Well, come on inside and tell it.

• Milburn Drysdale : Mr. Clampett, that girl is a stripper!

  Daisy Moses : What's a stripper?

  Milburn Drysdale : Someone who takes off their clothes.

  Jed Clampett : What's wrong with that?

  Milburn Drysdale : Well, she takes them off every night.

  Jed Clampett : Well, I don't sleep in my clothes neither.

• Jethro Bodine : [Jed has given Jethro a letter to take to the bank]  Hot diggity dog! I'ma carry this down to the bank, and I'ma carry me a girl back!

  Jed Clampett : Whoa, whoa! It ain't as simple as all that. Even if you *should* find the right girl, you gotta make courtin' talk with her.

  Jethro Bodine : I do?

  Jed Clampett : Why, of course!

  Jethro Bodine : Well, Uncle Jed, how do you make courtin' talk?

  Jed Clampett : Well... ya gotta kinda sidle into it, like, you start off with, uh, 'Nice day, ain't it?' Then you work around to where it looks like gonna be a nice night, for a walk, or a drive, or dance. Of course, along the way, ya gotta throw in a couple of 'My, ain't you pretty's', and, uh, 'I bet you're a dandy dancer.' What do you think about that?

  Jethro Bodine : I catch on now, Uncle Jed!

  Jed Clampett : All right, boy, ya got enough to get ya started.

  Jethro Bodine : Yes, sir. Yee-haw!

  [Jethro runs out] 

  Jed Clampett : Some girl is in for a *mighty* spirited courtship!