- Jed Clampett: Looks like Jethro done all right.
- Daisy Moses: Found hisself a girl?
- Jed Clampett: From here, it looks like he found himself a girl and a half.
- Milburn Drysdale: I suppose you might call that an inside joke.
- Jed Clampett: Oh! Well, come on inside and tell it.
- Milburn Drysdale: Mr. Clampett, that girl is a stripper!
- Daisy Moses: What's a stripper?
- Milburn Drysdale: Someone who takes off their clothes.
- Jed Clampett: What's wrong with that?
- Milburn Drysdale: Well, she takes them off every night.
- Jed Clampett: Well, I don't sleep in my clothes neither.
- Jethro Bodine: [Jed has given Jethro a letter to take to the bank] Hot diggity dog! I'ma carry this down to the bank, and I'ma carry me a girl back!
- Jed Clampett: Whoa, whoa! It ain't as simple as all that. Even if you *should* find the right girl, you gotta make courtin' talk with her.
- Jethro Bodine: I do?
- Jed Clampett: Why, of course!
- Jethro Bodine: Well, Uncle Jed, how do you make courtin' talk?
- Jed Clampett: Well... ya gotta kinda sidle into it, like, you start off with, uh, 'Nice day, ain't it?' Then you work around to where it looks like gonna be a nice night, for a walk, or a drive, or dance. Of course, along the way, ya gotta throw in a couple of 'My, ain't you pretty's', and, uh, 'I bet you're a dandy dancer.' What do you think about that?
- Jethro Bodine: I catch on now, Uncle Jed!
- Jed Clampett: All right, boy, ya got enough to get ya started.
- Jethro Bodine: Yes, sir. Yee-haw!
- [Jethro runs out]
- Jed Clampett: Some girl is in for a *mighty* spirited courtship!
- Milburn Drysdale: [In Mr. Drysdale's office] Now then, type up a business expense voucher for last night's dinner conference. Uh, food, uh, $150. Beverage, $200. Entertainment, $15.
- Jane Hathaway: Entertainment? At a business dinner?
- Milburn Drysdale: Guest speaker. Gave a very interesting demonstration of the 27.5% depletion allowance benefits.
- Jane Hathaway: I've got to make a note of his name.
- Milburn Drysdale: Of course. Uh, C.D. Laverne.
- Jane Hathaway: Laverne, C.D.
- Milburn Drysdale: That's right. Now take a letter to, uh...
- Janet Trego: [the secretary opens the door] Excuse me, I'm sorry, but there's a Chickadee Laverne who *insists* on seeing Mr. Drysdale.
- Jane Hathaway: [surprised] Chickadee?
- Milburn Drysdale: You tell ol' Chick I'll call him from the club.
- Chickadee Laverne: [Chickadee bursts in] Call me, nothin'! You promised me cash on the barrelhead for the show I did last night.
- Jane Hathaway: [incredulous] *You* are C.D. Laverne?
- Chickadee Laverne: They call me 'Chickadee'.
- Milburn Drysdale: That was a very interesting demonstration of depletion allowance benefits, Miss Laverne.
- Chickadee Laverne: Thank you.
- [Turning to Miss Hathaway]
- Chickadee Laverne: I do this dance where I take off everything except 27.5%.