- Milburn Drysdale: Why are you going home?
- Daisy Moses: For the Possum Festival.
- Jed Clampett: You ain't forgot it's comin' on for Possum Day, have you?
- Milburn Drysdale: Of course not. You can celebrate it right here.
- Daisy Moses: Bah! We tried that last year.
- Jed Clampett: It ain't much fun when you're the only ones celebratin'.
- Daisy Moses: We drove all over town yellin', "Happy Possum Day!"
- Jed Clampett: Folks looked at us like we was hangin' off our hinges.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: You wouldn't want to miss the honor of being queen.
- Daisy Moses: It ain't just the honor, why there's a fortune in prizes, startin' with the weighin' in ceremony.
- Jed Clampett: First off, the queen gets her wight in possums.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: How exciting.
- Daisy Moses: And that ain't all. Then comes the lettin' out ceremony.
- Jed Clampett: On Possum Day, all the prisoners gets let outta jail.
- Daisy Moses: And from then on, its just one big to-do after another.
- Jed Clampett: Mule-shoein' contest.
- Elly May Clampett: Mud wrasslin' and rock thowin'.
- Jethro Bodine: Crawdad-eatin' contest.
- Daisy Moses: Prizes for the longest hair and the biggest feet.
- Jed Clampett: Keep talkin' like that and Mrs. Drysdale will hop right on and go with us. Ain't that right, Mrs. Drysdale?
- Milburn Drysdale: Well what do you want?
- Janet Trego: Do we get Possum Day off?
- Milburn Drysdale: Get out of here!
- Daisy Moses: I still say we're gonna find her sugar is mostly sand.
- Jed Clampett: You been grousin' for 3 years cuz Mrs. Drysdale ain't a good neighbor. Now she's tryin' to be one and you're still peckin' at her.
- Daisy Moses: Jed, I've heared of sweet milk turnin' sour, but never the other way 'round.
- Milburn Drysdale: Well you have Miss Hathaway's word. Her Possum Festival is going to be just like the one back home, only bigger and better.
- Jed Clampett: What do you say, Granny?
- Daisy Moses: I say lets go back home to Sibley.
- Milburn Drysdale: Why?
- Milburn Drysdale: Cuz back there, I got a good chance of bein' Possum Queen.
- Milburn Drysdale: You can be Possum Queen right here.
- Daisy Moses: Aaah! I can't win an election in Beverly Hills.
- Milburn Drysdale: Oh yes you can. Right Miss Hathaway?
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: A thing like this could put Beverly Hills on the map.
- Daisy Moses: Look what it done for Sibley.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I'll stump Beverly Hills from one end to the other.
- Daisy Moses: Sit down, Granny.
- Jed Clampett: So will Mrs Drysdale, and she knows everybody and her dog.
- Daisy Moses: Just drive the truck, boy.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I've got experience on my side. I've run for Possum Queen 47 times.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, but you ain't never won.
- Jed Clampett: [Granny starts hitting Jethro] Sit down, Granny. Drive the truck, boy. Sit down, Granny. Drive the truck, boy.
- Daisy Moses: Granny says she knows why your wife was so anxious to get us out of town.
- Elly May Clampett: She does?
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: It's because she don't want me runnin' agin her for Beverly Hills Possum Queen.
- Daisy Moses: It's exactly one week to Possum Day. Who will be your queen? Will it be Mrs. Drysdale or me? The choice is up to you, but come election day, remember where you got the cider that we's gonna pass out right now.