- Milburn Drysdale: Mr. Kellums, where did you get this big money?
- Shorty Kellems: Took it outta my silver mine.
- Milburn Drysdale: You own a silver mine?
- Shorty Kellems: I did. Sold out to a Syndicate.
- Milburn Drysdale: After you took out a fortune?
- Shorty Kellems: You betcha.
- Milburn Drysdale: Millions?
- Shorty Kellems: Couple of hundred.
- Shorty Kellems: Jed, you forgettin' we was boys together. We run in a pretty fast crowd and you was the fastest.
- Jed Clampett: Me?
- Shorty Kellems: You was the wildest girl-chasin'est rascal in the whole county.
- Jed Clampett: I was not!
- Shorty Kellems: Somebody in our crowd was.
- Jed Clampett: How about you?
- Shorty Kellems: That's who it was!
- Shorty Kellems: This is the money I got from the silver mine. Sold out to a Syndicate from Reed Springs. Fred Syndicate.
- Jed Clampett: I don't believe I know Fred.
- Shorty Kellems: He'll make a fortune outta that silver mine. Plans to hide a still in there and sell moonshine.
- Daisy Moses: Shorty, did you ever take any silver outta that mine?
- Shorty Kellems: Just once. Found a spoon somebody dropped.
- Milburn Drysdale: Allow me to present you with this box of cigars.
- Jed Clampett: Well thank you. What's the occasion?
- Milburn Drysdale: Wait till you hear. Now, listen to this: Mr. Clampett, at this moment, you have now got $90 million.
- Jethro Bodine: [Jethro enters] Howdy Mr. Drysdale.
- Milburn Drysdale: Jethro
- Jed Clampett: Hey, Jethro, guess what I got?
- Jethro Bodine: What?
- Jed Clampett: A box of cigars.
- Patricia Switzer: I'm sorry. Mr. Drysdale's wild Hollywood parties are for depositors only.
- Jeanne Leeds: Pat, where are you going with this darling man? He's coming to the party, isn't he?
- Patricia Switzer: I'm afraid not, Jeanne.
- Jeanne Leeds: Oh, that's awful. There are so many of us girls. Why, he'd be practically the only man there. He's so cute too.
- Patricia Switzer: I'm sorry, but he just doesn't keep his money in our bank.
- Shorty Kellems: Yes I do! Yes I do! I'm goin' home and get it right now!
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Did I hear you say there's going to be a wild Hollywood party at Mr. Drysdale's bank?
- Shorty Kellems: Yes mum. A regular orgy.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: That interests me.
- Shorty Kellems: I'm sorry, I can't invite you. But you see, it's Mr. Drysdale's party and he kinda likes his women, um, young and flashy, like them two in the car, a couple of dandies. The bank is just crawlin' with fillies like that.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I find this absolutely fascinating.
- Shorty Kellems: Don't get yer hopes up, but I'll put in a word for ya. What's yer name?
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Mrs. Drysdale!
- Shorty Kellems: Forget it. He wouldn't want his mother there.