The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Clampetts in New York (1969)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Quotes 

• Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : I have long been closely associated with the New York police force. They always love to see me come to town.

  Jed Clampett : Is that a fact?

  Jethro Bodine : They is friends of yours, huh?

  Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Chums, pals. In fact, when we enter the terminal, you may notice several of them converge upon me and begin to ask questions.

  Daisy Moses : What kind of questions?

  Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Oh, questions concerning unsolved crimes.

• Jed Clampett : By doggies, it happened just the way Mr. Shafer said it would. Them New York police sure was glad to see him.

  Daisy Moses : We no sooner set foot in the building when three of them came rushin' up to him.

  Jethro Bodine : Grabbed him by the arms and purt near carried him out.

• Elly May Clampett : Yonder's the statue of Daniel Webster.

  Jed Clampett : He must be a pretty famous fellow, Jethro.

  Jethro Bodine : Oh, heck yeah. There's a whole book wrote about him. It's called a dictionary.

• Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Come on over. Granny is cookin' up some groundhog stew and gopher gravy.

  Jed Clampett : That sounds atrocious.

  Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Oh it is. You'll love it!

• Jed Clampett : Elly, I wish you'd wear a dress. How do you expect to get a fella when you look like one yourself?

  Elly May Clampett : Ah gee whiz, Pa.

  Jed Clampett : Maybe she'll listen to you. Tell her she looks like a feller.

  Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Mr. Clampett, I have bent the truth in my day, but that would be ridiculous.

• Jed Clampett : [Honest John agrees to sell Central Park to Jed for $5000 and Jed pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket]  Well doggies, there's some bigguns in there. One, two, three, four, five and I still got me some walkin'-around money.

  Shifty Shafer aka Honest John : Well, whaddaya say we get up and walk around?