The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Courtship of Elly (1965)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jed Clampett : I'll need about 5 minutes with Mr. Drysdale. You wanna come up and visit with Miss Jane?

  Jethro Bodine : No thanks Uncle Jed. She always looks at me so funny. Kind a like a...

  Jed Clampett : ...hungry hound lookin' in a butcher's window?

• Jed Clampett : Miss Jane got herself a fella.

  Daisy Moses : I ain't conjurin' for Miss Jane. I'm conjurin' for my old maid granddaughter. I aim to see her married before she's all wasted away!

  Jed Clampett : Elly could waste away a good bit and still be ahead of Miss Jane.

• Milburn Drysdale : I have a feeling that Granny's conjure is going to get action this time.

  Jed Clampett : Oh, it's got action before. I remember one time back home, it brought every fella within 5 miles a runnin'.

  Milburn Drysdale : Really?

  Jed Clampett : Yep. She set the cabin on fire.

  [Mr Drysdale thinks it's a joke and laughs until Jed gives him a stern look] 

  Milburn Drysdale : Mr. Drysdale, that ain't very funny.

• Daisy Moses : Jed, I've been workin' 3 days on this conjure and I aim to throw it in that fire. Now get dressed in your company clothes while I say my spell.

  Jed Clampett : I think I'll wait till you're done. I might have to do some firefightin'.

  Daisy Moses : Magic powder, magic brew/ In the fire and up the flue/ Fetch a man and fetch a minister/ So poor old Elly won't be a spinister.

  Jed Clampett : Spinister?

  Daisy Moses : I'm a scientist, not a poet.

• Daisy Moses : We dasn't wait any longer to get that girl a husband. Cousin Pearl says that folks back home are beginnin' to talk, askin' about your spinster daughter.

  Jed Clampett : That's back in the hills. Out here, girls seen to reach their prime a mite later.

  Daisy Moses : Now Jed, lets not fool ourselves with city talk. You know and I know that prime is 14. Anything over that and you're slidin' downhill.

• Daisy Moses : Well I'm done waitin' on Mr. do-nothin' Drysdale. He can't even get his own secketary a husband.

  Jed Clampett : Well maybe he ain't tryin'. Maybe Miss Jane ain't ready to git married.

  Daisy Moses : Ain't ready? have you ever seen the way she looks at Jethro?

  Jed Clampett : Kinda like a hungry hound lookin' in a butcher's window.