- Jethro Bodine: If you hadn't made me turn loose that Grunion I captured, I'da had her unload the truck.
- Jed Clampett: We don't hold with havin' slaves, boy.
- Daisy Moses: That's right! We fought a war to make them Yankees give up that foolishness.
- Jethro Bodine: Granny, you sure do get things twisted.
- Daisy Moses: Do as I say, or you're goin' to get things twisted, startin' with your neck!
- Jethro Bodine: Can I have the rest of the stew now?
- Jed Clampett: Give it to him, Granny.
- Daisy Moses: Shall I give him the bone too?
- Jed Clampett: If you can stand the noise.
- Helen Thompson: We demand women's liberation.
- Milburn Drysdale: Okay, you're liberated. You can have your next meeting at the unemployment office.
- Jed Clampett: All up and down the beach, folks was pickin' up fish and puttin' them in the bucket.
- Daisy Moses: What fer?
- Jed Clampett: Near as I can figger, when the Grunion comes in, you throw the fish at 'em.
- Daisy Moses: That ain't gonna turn back no invasion.
- Jed Clampett: Now Granny, you get hit in the face with a bucket of fish and you ain't exactly gonna feel welcome.