- Daisy Moses: [about Marie, the upstairs maid, who curtsies when she greets the Clampetts] Ain't nothin' wrong with that girl what some good cookin' will cure her. She's half-starved.
- Jed Clampett: Poor thing is so weak, her knees keep to bucklin' on her.
- Jane Hathaway: Actually you'll find the Clampetts to be basically fine people. All they need is a little polish.
- Milburn Drysdale: Polish? They need sandblasting.