- Daisy Moses: Here turkey turkey, don't be scared. Granny don't mean you no harm. See, I brought you some nice stuffin' - I mean bread.
- Jed Clampett: Mr. Drysdale give us that bird for a meal, not a pet.
- Elly May Clampett: He's awful smart, pa, and friendly too. Why I learned him to shake hands.
- Jed Clampett: Elly, he ain't likely to be goin' into politics.
- Jed Clampett: I declare, duke, if Mr. Drysdale give us a string of weenies, that girl'd make pets outta 'em.
- Daisy Moses: It's been a whole year since the Drysdales set down at the table with us. We gotta put on the dog.
- [Duke howls]
- Milburn Drysdale: Don't worry, Duke. When folks says they's puttin' on a dog, it means they's doin' things fancy.
- Daisy Moses: When the Drysdales come to eat, they wanna see that bird settin' on the table, not at it.