- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: [to Hop Sing] Hop Sing, you know you can't do that. Why if you left here, I'd waste away to a shadow. You know that.
- Adam Cartwright: And how do you expect to do it with that, uh, New Orleans monkey pick you got handed down to ya from your French quarter mother?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: If you weren't my brother Adam, I'd kill you for that.
- Adam Cartwright: Anytime you're ready, Little Joe, you can just forget all about us being kin.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Well you know, that'll be easy 'cause I've never been able to see myself being kin to anything welped out of a thin-nosed, blue blooded Boston Yankee!
- [Adam Punches Joe]
- Ben Cartwright: Look at it, Adam. Feast thine eyes on a sight that approacheth Heaven itself.
- Adam Cartwright: You been to a lotta places and you've seen a lotta things, Pa, but you never seen or been to heaven.
- Ben Cartwright: Well, maybe I never been to heaven... but heaven is gonna have to go some to beat the thousand square miles of the Ponderosa.
- Adam Cartwright: As long as it's ours, as long as we keep it in Cartwright hands...
- Ben Cartwright: Know anyone that could take it away from us, son?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: That would be the day when anybody tried to josh with you, you Yankee granite head!
- Langford Poole: Go home, Cartwright.
- Ben Cartwright: You tell me to go home? You, with the smell on you of the charnel house? Of flesh rotting and stinking in the sun?
- Langford Poole: You're gonna die for saying that to me, old man. You're gonna die.