Boy Meets World (TV Series)

Pairing Off (1994)

Will Friedle: Eric Matthews

Quotes 

• Eric Matthews : I'm gonna kill you.

  Cory Matthews : I have you.

  Eric Matthews : I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna bring you back to life, and I'm gonna kill you again.

  Cory Matthews : I have you.

  Eric Matthews : What? What do you have? You have what I have... nothing!

  Cory Matthews : You, my boy, were in Mom and Dad's bed. Oh, ho-ho-ho. What was that, the sound of power suddenly shifting?

  Eric Matthews : Nothing happened.

  Cory Matthews : Yeah, and it didn't happen in Mom and Dad's bed. I have you. I have you by your ovaries.

• Cory : Tell me how you do it.

  Eric Matthews : What I was doing with Rebecca?

  Cory : No, no, what you were doing with Rebecca, I don't have the lung capacity for that.

• Eric Matthews : Hi, Mom. This is Rebecca. It's kind of a new relationship, so don't say anything too embarrassing, OK?

  Amy Matthews : Oh, hi, Rebecca. He wet his bed till he was 12. Oops.

• [Cory walks in Eric and Rebecca making out on Amy and Alan's bed] 

  Eric Matthews : Cory, we're studying.

  Cory Matthews : So am I.

• Eric Matthews : Hey Weasel, you wanna move your stuff off the table? We gotta cram for the math test tomorrow.

  Morgan Matthews : My name's not Weasel, it's Morgan.

  Eric Matthews : I thought you liked it when I called you Weasel.

  Morgan Matthews : I've never liked it. You like it so much, it's your name now... Weasel.

• Eric Matthews : Hello.

  Alan Matthews : You want to tell us anything?

  Eric Matthews : Uh... not yet.

  [Amy holds up the earring] 

  Eric Matthews : Now I got something to tell you.

  Amy Matthews : We found this in our bed. What was it you wanted to tell us?

  Eric Matthews : I just wanted to say, "Happy Birthday, Mom." The other one's on layaway. Nothing happened between me and Rebecca, if that's what you're thinking.

  Amy Matthews : Why should we believe that nothing happened?

  Eric Matthews : Look at my face. Do I look happy?

  Alan Matthews : [looks at Eric closely]  Nothing happened.

• Alan Matthews : Eric, Eric, you are in so deep.

  Eric Matthews : Dad, I'm sorry. I mean, I'm really, really s...

  Alan Matthews : [He covers Eric's mouth with his hand, shutting him up]  You know, for thousands of years, fathers have said to their sons, "Don't rush into sex," and the sons have always said, "Yeah, sure. OK." I didn't understand my father till this very moment, and you won't understand me till you're a father, which won't be for a very long time!

  Cory Matthews : Dad?

  Alan Matthews : Learn her name!

  Cory Matthews : Yes, sir.

  Alan Matthews : As for you...

  Eric Matthews : Rebecca. Her name was Rebecca.

• Cory : All right, first you pick a girl, any girl.

  Amy Matthews : Just any-ol-body.

  Cory : Yeah. Then you pretend you're interested in her. Now you don't really have to be interested in her. I thought you did, but Eric said it wasn't necessary.

  Eric Matthews : Ring!

  Amy Matthews : That's what you told him?

  Eric Matthews : What? Does it matter what I told him? I'm dead.

  Amy Matthews : You had the big sex talk with him two years ago. What did you tell him?

  Alan Matthews : Not that! How can you think I'd tell him that?

  Amy Matthews : Alan, I'm not accusing you.

  Alan Matthews : Yes, you are. You're accusing me of this, and yet you refuse to accuse me of having an affair. That hurts.

  Amy Matthews : Cory, I know you look up to your brother, but I want you to go to your father for advice on this subject. Eric has some explaining to do about his own behavior with girls lately.

  Cory : I know.

  Amy Matthews : What do you know?

  Cory : Pretty much everything. I kind of walked in on them.

  Eric Matthews : [singing]  Amazing grace...