Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Him (2002)

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy Summers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buffy Summers : Willow, you're a gay woman... and *he* isn't.

  Willow Rosenberg : This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.

  Anya : His physical presence has a *penis*.

  Willow Rosenberg : I can work around it.

• Buffy Summers : [noticing RJ]  I think that's the guy.

  Willow Rosenberg : What guy?

  Buffy Summers : The one who, according to Dawn, is the, quote, "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having-the-thickest-boy-eyelashes boy in school," unquote.

  Xander Harris : He don't seem so tough.

  [Willow notices the girl RJ dances intimately with] 

  Willow Rosenberg : Check out the fan club.

  Xander Harris : Daddy like.

  Buffy Summers : What's that shirt made of, paint?

  Willow Rosenberg : Buff...

  Buffy Summers : Glad Dawnie can't see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy...

  [the girl turns around, revealing herself to be Dawn] 

  Buffy Summers : Oh.

  Xander Harris : Oh. Oh! No! Daddy, no. I wasn't... When I was looking, I wasn't- Oh, God.

  Willow Rosenberg : Right there with ya.

• Buffy : Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slippin' that jacket on just a little bit.

  Xander : I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.

• [after Dawn screwed up at cheerleader audition, in front of her crush RJ. Dawn sobs in the bathroom at home, with Buffy hopelessly trying to talk to her from outside. Xander comes around the corner] 

  Xander Harris : Things a lot better, I see.

  Buffy Summers : I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand.

  Xander Harris : Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still better than a cozy evening with Spike. Shall I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza?

  Dawn Summers : [opens the door]  It is not a snit. I-I finally met him, the guy of my dreams, okay, and I blew it! RJ hates me now.

  [Buffy notices the torn cheerleading clothes on the floor] 

  Buffy Summers : Dawn, what is that?

  Dawn Summers : Just the end of my life.

  [walks away, sobbing] 

  Xander Harris : Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter "me" crush.

• Buffy Summers : This is the plan? You're gonna steal R.J. by being trisected?

  Dawn Summers : What am I- gonna compete with you? You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people. I don't have any of that stuff!

• Spike : No. Bollocks to the whole thing. I don't need your mollycoddling.

  Buffy Summers : It's not coddling... Now go to your closet.

• Buffy Summers : [to Dawn]  Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you *do* not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky.

• Buffy Summers : [to Dawn]  Okay. First with the lap dance, now with the cat-fight. Hey, wanna get drunk and barf next?

• [RJ is leaving the principal's office] 

  Buffy Summers : Whoa, hand on there, slappy. I'm not done with you yet.

  R.J. Brooks : Oh, man. Like, it's not bad enough I got that guy ridin' my back all the time. Now I gotta deal with you, too?

  Buffy Summers : Actually, I'm a bit more formidable than Mr. Wood. You might come to look fondly on his back riding.

• Buffy Summers : The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there.

  Xander Harris : Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is better than Stalking Buffy Guy.

• Buffy Summers : [to Dawn]  So, do you have plans later, or are you just gonna go down to the docks, wait for the fleet to come in?

• Dawn Summers : I'm just so... The way I acted, the way I talked to you... I feel so stupid. All over a spell.

  Buffy Summers : Get ready to feel even stupider when it's not.