Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Him (2002)

Nicholas Brendon: Xander Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buffy Summers : [noticing RJ]  I think that's the guy.

  Willow Rosenberg : What guy?

  Buffy Summers : The one who, according to Dawn, is the, quote, "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having-the-thickest-boy-eyelashes boy in school," unquote.

  Xander Harris : He don't seem so tough.

  [Willow notices the girl RJ dances intimately with] 

  Willow Rosenberg : Check out the fan club.

  Xander Harris : Daddy like.

  Buffy Summers : What's that shirt made of, paint?

  Willow Rosenberg : Buff...

  Buffy Summers : Glad Dawnie can't see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy...

  [the girl turns around, revealing herself to be Dawn] 

  Buffy Summers : Oh.

  Xander Harris : Oh. Oh! No! Daddy, no. I wasn't... When I was looking, I wasn't- Oh, God.

  Willow Rosenberg : Right there with ya.

• Xander Harris : I'm just sayin', once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start, like, picking up your own wet towels off the floor?

  Willow Rosenberg : No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there.

• Xander Harris : Is there something more emphatic than "hate"? Can I "revile" the plan?

• Buffy : Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slippin' that jacket on just a little bit.

  Xander : I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.

• Xander Harris : You know, Spike definitely seems a little more cogent, and less "bl-bl-bl-bl-bl."

• [after Dawn screwed up at cheerleader audition, in front of her crush RJ. Dawn sobs in the bathroom at home, with Buffy hopelessly trying to talk to her from outside. Xander comes around the corner] 

  Xander Harris : Things a lot better, I see.

  Buffy Summers : I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand.

  Xander Harris : Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still better than a cozy evening with Spike. Shall I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza?

  Dawn Summers : [opens the door]  It is not a snit. I-I finally met him, the guy of my dreams, okay, and I blew it! RJ hates me now.

  [Buffy notices the torn cheerleading clothes on the floor] 

  Buffy Summers : Dawn, what is that?

  Dawn Summers : Just the end of my life.

  [walks away, sobbing] 

  Xander Harris : Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter "me" crush.

• [first lines] 

  Xander Harris : [to Spike]  You're gonna live in the small room over there. I know it looks like a closet, but it's a room now. You're not gonna touch my food. I take the first show, and if I use up all the hot water, that's your tough noogies.

• Xander Harris : It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest. Makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw i tall the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play... Not that I tried.

• Buffy Summers : The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there.

  Xander Harris : Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is better than Stalking Buffy Guy.